sinkwriter (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sinkwriter) wrote2007-10-30 11:14 pm
sinkwriter) wrote2007-10-30 11:14 pm
Savor life, be joyful, and wear sturdy walking shoes.
Life's funny...
It's taken me months (maybe probably longer) to make the decision to sign up for this LiveJournal. It took me almost a full day of tinkering to browse the basic system and set up (generally) how I want it (for now). And almost three full days later, I still haven't posted an actual entry.
I realize now, I've been struggling:
To get up the courage to write something, anything.
To express whatever I'm thinking or feeling, post it and have those words laid out as part of a semi-permanent page out there in the online universe, knowing I can't take it back. (Well, unless the 'edit' feature is available for old posts, heh.)
To stop second-guessing myself, out of fear that what I wrote sounds stupid or lame, or that it's not worded quite right. That no one will understand what the hell I'm talking about.
To stop tinkering and rewriting every line, in some ridiculous attempt to make everything 'perfect.'
To acknowledge there's no such thing.
To realize that every minute spent waiting for it all to fall into place or feel 'just right' is one more moment not spent living life fully.
*******
Enough.
Enough wandering about and wishing for a life, as if it will happen upon me someday and adopt me into it, instead of me actively seeking it out and pulling to me what makes me joyful and what makes me savor life. Marveling at the rugged yet challenging path and the multitude of choices before me. Relishing the journey itself.
Passage: the act or process of moving forward.
That's what I want. Positive, forward motion. Moving, acting, being, doing. Having fun exploring and learning.
I'm not going to apologize for occasionally getting all philosophical and cheesy. I've spent my life taking baby steps, too terrified of breaking the rules or losing people's approval to actually make up my own mind and take charge of my own life in a bigger, more fantastic way.
"I am not gonna sit on my ass
as the events that affect me
unfold to determine the course of my life."
~ Cameron Frye, Ferris Bueller's Day Off
I know I'll probably wake up tomorrow morning and cringe, already itching to take everything back, erase this message, start again. Be cooler, more witty, whatever.
Ah, f*** it. It's time to take some gigantic wonderful kick-ass leaps.
As I sit here at my computer, I take a deep breath... and click 'Okay.'
...
...
...
All right, all right. I know I actually click 'Post to sinkwriter,' but I was speaking metaphorically, okay? *GRIN*
Here I go.
It's taken me months (maybe probably longer) to make the decision to sign up for this LiveJournal. It took me almost a full day of tinkering to browse the basic system and set up (generally) how I want it (for now). And almost three full days later, I still haven't posted an actual entry.
I realize now, I've been struggling:
To get up the courage to write something, anything.
To express whatever I'm thinking or feeling, post it and have those words laid out as part of a semi-permanent page out there in the online universe, knowing I can't take it back. (Well, unless the 'edit' feature is available for old posts, heh.)
To stop second-guessing myself, out of fear that what I wrote sounds stupid or lame, or that it's not worded quite right. That no one will understand what the hell I'm talking about.
To stop tinkering and rewriting every line, in some ridiculous attempt to make everything 'perfect.'
To acknowledge there's no such thing.
To realize that every minute spent waiting for it all to fall into place or feel 'just right' is one more moment not spent living life fully.
*******
Enough.
Enough wandering about and wishing for a life, as if it will happen upon me someday and adopt me into it, instead of me actively seeking it out and pulling to me what makes me joyful and what makes me savor life. Marveling at the rugged yet challenging path and the multitude of choices before me. Relishing the journey itself.
Passage: the act or process of moving forward.
That's what I want. Positive, forward motion. Moving, acting, being, doing. Having fun exploring and learning.
I'm not going to apologize for occasionally getting all philosophical and cheesy. I've spent my life taking baby steps, too terrified of breaking the rules or losing people's approval to actually make up my own mind and take charge of my own life in a bigger, more fantastic way.
"I am not gonna sit on my ass
as the events that affect me
unfold to determine the course of my life."
~ Cameron Frye, Ferris Bueller's Day Off
I know I'll probably wake up tomorrow morning and cringe, already itching to take everything back, erase this message, start again. Be cooler, more witty, whatever.
Ah, f*** it. It's time to take some gigantic wonderful kick-ass leaps.
As I sit here at my computer, I take a deep breath... and click 'Okay.'
...
...
...
All right, all right. I know I actually click 'Post to sinkwriter,' but I was speaking metaphorically, okay? *GRIN*
Here I go.
no subject
But I've always loved The X-Files tv program, and back when I started browsing about, I initially joined NickZone as a sort of 'fly on the wall,' lurking and reading everyone else's posts and stories. Then Sue held a Christmas 'Secret Santa' contest where each person gets the name of another participant and you send that person something for Christmas, whether it's an XF-related picture, fan fic story or poem, anything you want. The person who had my name sent me some pictures of Nick Lea (very handsome). I decided to try to write an XF story for the person who was to receive a 'gift' from me. It was a bit of a challenge because I decided to write it from Alex Krycek's perspective (and he's not an easy guy to write, especially since he seemed so mysterious and troublesome). I think my story is still posted on NickZone. It's called A Winter's Night. If you're at all curious and would like to read it, you can find it here:
http://nickzone.net/NickZone/html/wintersnight.htm
(Can anybody please tell me how to type it so next time I don't have to show the entire website link? I tried a few guesses, but it didn't work the way it does on other sites.)
Let me know about your site so that I may browse about, too.
Thanks for asking about my writing! :)
no subject
{a href="http://nickzone.net/NickZone/html/wintersnight.htm"}A Winter's Night{/a}
Only instead of the pretty { & } brackets... you would need to use the sharper edged < & > brackets. That'll ture the thing into a hyperlink.
no subject
Oh hell, let's just try it right now. ;)
A Winter's Night (http://nickzone.net/NickZone/html/wintersnight.htm)
How'd I do? :D
*clicking on Preview*
Whee! It worked! Thanks again very much, Teach. ;)
no subject
It's simple yet I always forget how to do that.
So here is a link to my stuff:
http://www.hegalplace.com/griva/
Beware all stories are slash, but art is divided into different sections. I myself am more of a Mulder-girl, but in stories Krycek and Mulder always go together for me. I also love to come up with different versons of Krycek's biography and background, using it in my stories.
Ah, now when I looked it up, I remmeber this story. A rather...sad one.
Don't thank me for asking you anything. I always ask a lot about new people. :)
no subject
A sad one? I hope that was not necessarily a bad thing. ;D
Don't thank me for asking you anything. I always ask a lot about new people. :)
Wonderful! May I ask something about you? I see from your user info that you're from Latvia. Fantastic! I've never met anyone from there. What is it like, in your experience? What should I know about Latvia that you enjoy?
PS. Thanks for your links. I will take a look. :)
no subject
http://www.li.lv/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=93&Itemid=171
Just bear in mind that this is just the...clean-polished facade of the country that's been part of the Soviet Union for more than 50 yrs; and that half of its population is Russians.