Savor life, be joyful, and wear sturdy walking shoes.

[sinkwriter]

Life's funny...

It's taken me months (maybe probably longer) to make the decision to sign up for this LiveJournal. It took me almost a full day of tinkering to browse the basic system and set up (generally) how I want it (for now). And almost three full days later, I still haven't posted an actual entry.

I realize now, I've been struggling:

To get up the courage to write something, anything.

To express whatever I'm thinking or feeling, post it and have those words laid out as part of a semi-permanent page out there in the online universe, knowing I can't take it back. (Well, unless the 'edit' feature is available for old posts, heh.)

To stop second-guessing myself, out of fear that what I wrote sounds stupid or lame, or that it's not worded quite right. That no one will understand what the hell I'm talking about.

To stop tinkering and rewriting every line, in some ridiculous attempt to make everything 'perfect.'

To acknowledge there's no such thing.

To realize that every minute spent waiting for it all to fall into place or feel 'just right' is one more moment not spent living life fully.

*******

Enough.

Enough wandering about and wishing for a life, as if it will happen upon me someday and adopt me into it, instead of me actively seeking it out and pulling to me what makes me joyful and what makes me savor life. Marveling at the rugged yet challenging path and the multitude of choices before me. Relishing the journey itself.

Passage: the act or process of moving forward.

That's what I want. Positive, forward motion. Moving, acting, being, doing. Having fun exploring and learning.

I'm not going to apologize for occasionally getting all philosophical and cheesy. I've spent my life taking baby steps, too terrified of breaking the rules or losing people's approval to actually make up my own mind and take charge of my own life in a bigger, more fantastic way.

"I am not gonna sit on my ass
as the events that affect me
unfold to determine the course of my life."

~ Cameron Frye, Ferris Bueller's Day Off


I know I'll probably wake up tomorrow morning and cringe, already itching to take everything back, erase this message, start again. Be cooler, more witty, whatever.

Ah, f*** it. It's time to take some gigantic wonderful kick-ass leaps.

As I sit here at my computer, I take a deep breath... and click 'Okay.'

...
...
...

All right, all right. I know I actually click 'Post to sinkwriter,' but I was speaking metaphorically, okay? *GRIN*

Here I go.

Comments

[bardsmaid.livejournal.com]

Hooray for you! You've said a lot here... and I know it wasn't easy for you. So welcome to Lj. You've made a fine debut. :-)

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for all your encouragement, dear friend.

You know I would still be hemming and hawing over possible names to use and what to say, if you hadn't reminded me so gently and honestly that it doesn't have to be Shakespeare and it's not my 'final legacy' to the online world, it's simply a journal. Your words gave me just the right nudge to get over myself and my worries and just sign up already, give it a try, take a step. I'm very grateful.

Thanks for the welcome. :)

[biani.livejournal.com]

Hello and welcome in LJ Land. I hope you have a good time here!

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the welcome, biani. Bardsmaid pointed me in your direction; she said you have the most current data re: most things XF and especially Nick Lea. How could I not seek you out and friend you? ;)

Delighted you left me a message. Have a wonderful week!

[disanddat.livejournal.com]

I'm seeing your announcement on the mailing list... May I recommend wandering your way over here:
http://community.livejournal.com/nick_daily/

It'll decorate your friendslist very nicely.

Carla Jane,
who couldn't get that name on LJ so I had to pick something else

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

Hi, Carla Jane!

I recognize your name from your posts over on NickZone and/or MKV. Thanks for the link suggestion. I'll definitely check it out. And thank you for joining my friends list. The more, the merrier! ;)

[lorelei633.livejournal.com]

I know I'll probably wake up tomorrow morning and cringe, already itching to take everything back, erase this message, start again. Be cooler, more witty, whatever.

I'm glad you didn't. What you said really resonated with me. I read every word and as I read, I was thinking, that could be me talking. You really put your finger on a lot of things I've been feeling, myself, so thank you for that. You've given me a lot to think about.

Welcome to LJ. I'm glad you're here. :)

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

Ah, Lorelei. Good to hear from you. Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm glad that what I wrote connected with you -- I worked very hard to find the right words to convey what I was thinking and feeling. I hope it encourages you right back.

Are you currently doing any writing?

Thanks for the LJ welcome.

[seagray.livejournal.com]

Hi Sherry,
Saw your post on the NickZone list. I wish there was more discussion on the email lists, too, but I've found there's quite a bit of activity here on LJ where Nick is concerned, so welcome!

I also empathize with your beautifully expressed feelings about writing (and life). I think any of us who tinker/struggle with our writing have wrestled with the same feelings and insecurities. I've found the XF slash fans on LJ to be very supportive and helpful. It's a good place to be!

I look forward to chatting with you!

--Courtney

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

Hi, Courtney. I recognize your name from NickZone postings. So glad you joined me here. Thanks for the support re: my writing. I look forward to chatting with you too. :)

[lifeasanamazon.livejournal.com]

Hi Sherry, it's Angie!

So good to see you - will friend you if that's ok?

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

Angie! It's so good to hear from you! I've been wondering if you were out there in the online universe. Are you still writing?

Absolutely, please friend me.

Happy to 'hear' your voice. Hope you are doing well.

[lifeasanamazon.livejournal.com]

Writing very rarely.

Life is good though!

[griva-x.livejournal.com]

Hey there! You sound familiar...at least your name, that I have learnt reading the comments.

If yo uare another XF, Mulder/Krycek, and slash fan, I'm glad to be your friend. I'll friend you back, for most of my entries are Friends Only.

As English is not my native language, I'm always concerned about how I write and what I write on LJ. But then this feeling of constantly trying to "correct" yourself, passes. What matters, is the message and what you are trying to convey. So don't worry to much about that. ;)

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

Hi :)

Actually, I didn't recognize you from the 'fluffy' sign-in name, either, until I clicked on your user profile and saw that you are Griva. THEN I knew who you were immediately, from MKV and also NickZone. ;) Plus, you created those gorgeous collage/pictures for Bardsmaid's stories. If you aren't sure exactly who I am, that's because I don't use "Sinkwriter" on the MKV/NickZone site. I'm Sherry in those places.

Hope you don't mind me friending you. Thanks for the encouragement about my posts.

[griva-x.livejournal.com]

Mind if I ask you wrote any XF fics? I've not been frequenting any of the MessageBoards for a long time, because mostly there are all the same active fans who are here, and also because LJ is much more fun to use. So Im always glad when a new fan comes to LJ-land.

I'm a pretty rabid M/K slasher, so I guess it sums up everything about me. :)

If you want more XF related stuff, then I have a link to my site there, heaps of art and some of my stories there too. On my LJ I mostly post my stuff, TV-related adn XF too, and some ramblings about my own life.

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

I've actually only written one XF story. Most of my writings have been in the realm of a show called The West Wing.

But I've always loved The X-Files tv program, and back when I started browsing about, I initially joined NickZone as a sort of 'fly on the wall,' lurking and reading everyone else's posts and stories. Then Sue held a Christmas 'Secret Santa' contest where each person gets the name of another participant and you send that person something for Christmas, whether it's an XF-related picture, fan fic story or poem, anything you want. The person who had my name sent me some pictures of Nick Lea (very handsome). I decided to try to write an XF story for the person who was to receive a 'gift' from me. It was a bit of a challenge because I decided to write it from Alex Krycek's perspective (and he's not an easy guy to write, especially since he seemed so mysterious and troublesome). I think my story is still posted on NickZone. It's called A Winter's Night. If you're at all curious and would like to read it, you can find it here:

http://nickzone.net/NickZone/html/wintersnight.htm

(Can anybody please tell me how to type it so next time I don't have to show the entire website link? I tried a few guesses, but it didn't work the way it does on other sites.)

Let me know about your site so that I may browse about, too.

Thanks for asking about my writing! :)

[disanddat.livejournal.com]

You'd type this:

{a href="http://nickzone.net/NickZone/html/wintersnight.htm"}A Winter's Night{/a}

Only instead of the pretty { & } brackets... you would need to use the sharper edged < & > brackets. That'll ture the thing into a hyperlink.

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

Aw, thanks, Carla Jane! You're terrific. I will have to give that a try.

Oh hell, let's just try it right now. ;)

A Winter's Night (http://nickzone.net/NickZone/html/wintersnight.htm)

How'd I do? :D

*clicking on Preview*

Whee! It worked! Thanks again very much, Teach. ;)

[griva-x.livejournal.com]

Here is about linking other websites to your LJ entries: http://www.livejournal.com/support/faqbrowse.bml?faqid=67

It's simple yet I always forget how to do that.
So here is a link to my stuff:
http://www.hegalplace.com/griva/
Beware all stories are slash, but art is divided into different sections. I myself am more of a Mulder-girl, but in stories Krycek and Mulder always go together for me. I also love to come up with different versons of Krycek's biography and background, using it in my stories.

Ah, now when I looked it up, I remmeber this story. A rather...sad one.

Don't thank me for asking you anything. I always ask a lot about new people. :)

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

Ah, now when I looked it up, I remmeber this story. A rather... sad one.

A sad one? I hope that was not necessarily a bad thing. ;D


Don't thank me for asking you anything. I always ask a lot about new people. :)

Wonderful! May I ask something about you? I see from your user info that you're from Latvia. Fantastic! I've never met anyone from there. What is it like, in your experience? What should I know about Latvia that you enjoy?

PS. Thanks for your links. I will take a look. :)

[griva-x.livejournal.com]

The very basic info and pics on Latvia you can find here:
http://www.li.lv/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=93&Itemid=171

Just bear in mind that this is just the...clean-polished facade of the country that's been part of the Soviet Union for more than 50 yrs; and that half of its population is Russians.

[ladymidath.livejournal.com]

Hi Sherry, welcome to lj, I love the quote from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. :-) It's great to see you here.

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

Ah, another familiar XF fan fic writer's name! Thank you muchly for stopping by and saying hello, Lady Midath. I'm so pleased to see you here. :)

(And glad you enjoyed the Ferris Bueller's quote. It speaks to me -- I've had that written down on a piece of paper, tucked away in a journal, for years now. Been waiting for just the right occasion to quote it. Looks like that time was now. *GRIN*)

[coffee-imp.livejournal.com]

Hi Gorgeous Lady,

Bet you can't guess who this is ^_^

Your post was so inspiring, Sherry, so eloquent. May you soar!

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

You're here!! I'm so happy to 'see' you, my dear friend! Yay, yay, yay!!! :D

And I am still laughing my head off, at seeing your sign-in name. How could it be anyone but you? It's perfect, and I love that kick-ass 'pin up' icon. AWESOME! And very va-va-voom. Rowr. ;)

Thank you for posting and encouraging me. I'm so glad to hear from you -- I hope we can get together and hang out soon. I'll email you about my latest news. I'm going on a trip. (Yes, you read that right.)

Much Love & Light to you! Talk to you soon.

Me three!!

[lylyan.livejournal.com]

HEY! I friendeded you. Um. Hi. :)

Re: Me three!!

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

HEY! Hi there! Awesome to see you here, my long lost buddy. ;D I friended you back, so now it's all official and everything.

I'll send you an email in reply to the email that you sent me that was replying to the email I sent you (heh, didja catch that at all?) and we'll make plans! *rubs hands together gleefully*