Passages

Via emily_shore:

When you see this, share 3 random lines from 3 WIPs:

• Kurt shrank back as Karofsky's face began to stretch, his nose lengthening into the shape of a snarling wolf's velvety snout, his tight little mouth pulling and distorting, wider and wider, his darkening lips curling to expose rows of sharp teeth and a bloody, black tongue.


• Ben's head felt muddled, like there was something he should be seeing but the pieces weren't quite there. Or maybe he didn't want to see them.


• "Well, yeah, but I honestly didn't think any of you were listening to me."

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... I really wanted a Tenth Doctor / David Tennant user pic, and the marvelous greatbriton made several gorgeous ones for me, per a creative meme offering she posted to her LJ.

In exchange for her generosity (and great patience), I promised my own creative offering, to write up to ten stories or TV episode reviews to those who commented to my post here. I still have more stories to write, but at long, long last, the first one is complete, the one I wrote for Briton.

She requested a Bones fic involving the characters Seeley Booth and Angela Montenegro, with no other major instructions except to say that it didn't need to be "all shippy." (Heee.) She especially liked their flirty banter and wanted a scene or story in which they were the main focus.

This is that story.

Briton, thank you so much for all the work you put in on those icons! I can now safely say that in exchange I put in a ton of (very fun) work on this thing, and I hope you find it was worth the wait.

Side note: story header notes can be found at the end.


( She gave me a Mona Lisa smile. 'Some secrets are meant to stay that way, Booth.' )

Annnnd I'm back. Top Five Meme. Yadda yadda.

This Top Five is in response to the fantastic krazykitkat. Cheers, beautiful! ;)


( Top Five Pairings )


( Top Five Current TV Shows )


( Top Five Moments of The West Wing )


And finally...

( Top Five Role Models )


And that's it for part 3! readthesubtext, I've saved you for last because you asked the most questions and I'm still working on them. I swear, I oughta ask you some more in retribution because the ones you asked have been really tough to narrow down to only five! I'm workin' on it, I'm workin' on it. *laughing uproariously*

Until next time... have a gorgeous day, everyone! ♥

Because I was feeling whimsical last week, I agreed to take part in the "Top Five" meme (as mentioned in this LJ entry).

I'm still working on one person's lengthy list o' questions *cough*readthesubtext*cough* but I'll be posting the three others' requests in subsequent posts tonight (or tomorrow morning, because it's getting verrrrry late). This is the first of those three.

There were some tough choices to make, and I'm certain I forgot some things that would have made for even better answers. I'll probably think of those possibilities months from now and Gibbs-slap myself.

(By the way, that's an NCIS reference, for those who may not know. Agent Gibbs often slaps his subordinates on the backs of their heads when they're being obnoxious or overly stupid. He once even slapped himself, when he really messed up. Heh.)

Okay, on to the Top 5!

This post is for the lovely callieach.


( Top Five Ensemble Showtunes )


( Top Five Celebrities You'd Like To Meet )


And finally...

( Top Five Ways You Like To Wear Your Hair )


And that's it for part 1! Hope you liked my answers. Thanks for playing along, Callie! :)

Exercise O' Happiness. Yesterday was Day 6.

Usually this meme lasts about a week and this is my Day 7, so I'm not sure if I'll keep this going or let it simmer again and return to it the next time I either get tagged or simply feel like I need some extra vitamin P (for positivity, heh). We'll see how I feel tomorrow. *smiles*

In the meantime... here's what made me happy today.

Watching episodes of Bones.

I know, I know. Shocking, right? I've been quite verbal over in the daysofourbones and 206_bones communities about how frustrated I've been with this past season of the show. From my view, the two main characters have been forced out-of-character in order to fit overly wacky scenarios; stories and emotional connections have been started but left without decent follow-through; and it's lost some of the heart it used to have. I could give example after example of how the writing has changed, to the show's detriment, in the past season and a half.

However, this meme is all about positivity and joy, so today I feel it's important to express what I love about this show. For the last two days, I've been re-watching episodes from the first season and recapturing my affection for all the characters and some of the wonderful episodes that impressed and moved me. It's like wrapping myself up in a warm, familiar blanket.

The first four episodes of Season 1 had moments of amusement and curiosity, establishing personalities and tidbits of back history for each character, but didn't really grab me in an overall sense. Though I will admit that Brennan's stories about each victim and what she could learn about them based on their bones fascinated me, and Hodgins' "I am the warrior" speech in 1x04 still gets me giggling, it wasn't until episode five that I knew I wanted to keep watching this show and that I was invested in each and every one of these characters.

I was already in love with the lab "squints" -- Jack, Zack and Angela -- whose characters were vivid and surprisingly well-established, given that they were considered secondary roles and not all shows provide much texture to their sidekicks. So that added depth was astonishing and impressive to me.

However, while I was charmed by David Boreanaz in his lead role as Special Agent Seeley Booth, I admit I wasn't immediately enthralled by the titular character Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan, try as I might to appreciate her brashness, fierce independence and awkward social manner. I felt like the first four episodes tried to force me to like her, over-explaining her issues and her backstory, rather than showing me why I should be impressed by and empathetic to her as a lead character. And the writers kept including traits that I think they meant to be cute or funny, but I happened to find irritating.

Example: when in the field, she often ignored Booth's instructions, plowing into danger with no demonstrative regard for her safety or his, jumping into the fray simply because she felt she could handle herself. That pissed me off, because there's being brave and capable, and then there's being foolish and dismissing the abilities and experience of her partner, an FBI agent and former soldier. When he says, "Stay back," you should stay the hell back and let him go in first. It's not an affront to your feminist capabilities or your intelligence; it has everything to do with the fact that you're a scientist from a lab while he's a trained federal agent.

At any rate, my views of Brennan changed drastically when I saw episode five, "The Boy in the Bush." The writers presented her as a much more well-rounded, sympathetic character. She wasn't just a quirky oddball who's spent too much time in the lab examining dead bodies and not enough time out in the world, connecting with live people. Instead, throughout this episode they managed to solidify her trust in her partner Booth and move her character forward, revealing something new and emotionally effective about her that fit beautifully within the construct of the heart-breaking story about a young foster kid whose body was found in a field. Not only that, but the episode managed to reveal a little something about each and every character, even the sidekicks. Everyone had a purpose, everyone had a specific reaction to the case they were investigating, and each person was illuminated in fruitful ways. I was moved by the story and all of the characters, and felt the episode was balanced, touching, and well-written. It made me want to know more about each and every person on the show. It made me want to know what would happen next. I generally liked the first four episodes, but I found I really loved episode five. It's unquestionably worth a watch.

This week I'll continue to revisit the first season of Bones, and I genuinely look forward to watching the episodes that show these characters growing and developing and connecting with each other, becoming a well-oiled machine of an investigative team and, more importantly, an odd yet marvelous sort of family.

That quality in a TV show is something that brings a big smile to my face. That's what impresses and moves me, and that's definitely something that makes me happy.

For your evening's entertainment, here are two of the many little quotes from that episode that always amuse me:

HODGINS: When you write, you get this stunned look on your face like you stuck a fork in a toaster.


BRENNAN: They gave me a car.
HODGINS: Nice. Who?
BRENNAN: My publisher. Now I feel like I have to earn it by writing another book.
HODGINS: Fight coercion in all its forms. You don’t write the book, I don’t go to the banquet. Solidarity.


*GRIN*

Joy to all of you, my friends. *hugs*

MERRY HAPPY HOLIDAYCHRISTMAKWANZUKAH SOLSTICE!

(I think that should cover it all. *GRIN*)

This is it! The last of the daily joy posts! For now, anyway. I may try to pop in and post positivity just for fun every once in a while. You know, it's good for my mental health. And yours, I hope. ;)

I need to type this up before the onslaught of family members arrives. They're on their way! Once they are here, there is no way I'll be able to get on the computer. It will be chaos. (Usually fun chaos, but chaos, nevertheless.)

Therefore, let's get to it, shall we?

Our week in review: Day 1. Day 2. Day 3. Day 4. Day 5. Day 6.


DAY 7

* A purple iPod nano. An overwhelmingly generous collective gift from my grandmother and my aunts Marilyn and Suzanne. There's no snowball's chance in hell I'll be able to fit all the music I own onto that thing (I think it stores about 8GB?), but I'm not about to tell them that. *laughing uproariously* That's what happens when you're a musician. You own too many CDs, can't possibly put them all in storage. Maybe I will have to pick and choose my utmost favorite songs. Maybe it will teach me moderation. Heh. Right. Still, it's soooo pretty and really cool. I cannot wait to play with this thing. Yay for techno gadgets! *does happy dance of joy*

* Toby Ziegler. (In honor of the man, see user pic for this post.) He's the main featured character in my favorite episode from The West Wing, a crown jewel entitled "In Excelsis Deo." Because of Richard Schiff's meticulously complex portrayal of Toby, I began to look at his character in a new light. He wasn't the stereotypical cantankerous crab he could have been in lesser hands. Under Schiff's care, Toby was fierce, frustrated, brilliant, professional, intelligent, honorable, funny (yes, really), saucy (only with CJ), and sadly, quietly self-loathing. And cantankerous. Heh. He expected the best of himself and of his President, and he gave everything to his work. ("It couldn't have gone far, right? Somewhere in this building ... is our talent.")

And in that Christmas-themed episode, the way he fought for the proper military burial of the homeless stranger who happened to be wearing the coat he donated to Goodwill, the way he cringed to even admit that he might have some influence and 'power' in order to help the dead man's brother, the way he stutteringly apologized to the President for using his name in order to make it all happen, he broke my heart. I also fell a little bit in love with him. I think even President Bartlet sees his brilliance:

"I couldn't live without you, Toby. I mean it. I'd be in the tall grass; I'd be in the weeds. I know I disappoint you sometimes. I mean, I can sense your disappointment. And I only get mad because I know you're right a lot of the times, but you are not the kid in the class with his hand up and whatever it was you said to C.J. You are a wise and brilliant man, Toby..."

~ The West Wing, "The Crackpots and These Women"

Toby stirred up and reinvigorated my interest in creative writing. He was the inspiration for my very first piece of fan fiction ever. In fact, before I started browsing for info about The West Wing, I didn't even know what fan fic was.

And that show was my first foray into everything online. Just because I wanted to know more about the show and its characters, I discovered this bizarre, amazing world of people, communities chatting and conversing and discussing and analyzing, and it was marvelous. They made me feel so welcome. And that security gave me the confidence to branch out and search for sites and communities for other favorite programs of mine. It's what eventually brought me to bardsmaid's astoundingly spot-on X-Files fiction, and more importantly, a marvelous, rewarding friendship with her. (Seriously, our emails are often epic-length. We've scaled back, but no matter the length of the mail, I savor every word.) It's what brought me to bond with the people on TJ Thyne's site, where I've made some lovely and entertaining friendships. It's what brought me to 'meet' lostakasha, whom I have come to treasure madly. (We're still getting to know each other, but our friendship extends well beyond general fandom discussions, and I am so grateful for that. And jazzed to keep our rich conversations jamming.)

I guess what I'm trying to say in a roundabout way is, I'm so glad to know you or chat with you or have these wonderful, in-depth conversations with you. In different ways, you all inspire me. And yes, you bring me great joy.

Which brings me to this...

* Family, in all its definitions. Your biological family, who drive you nuts but are still endearing and wacky and surprising and wonderful. *LOVES* Your online community friends, who let you rant and rave and cheer and go on about the minute details of all things. They may never meet you, they may not even know what you look like, but they 'see' you and 'get' you and appreciate you all the same. *LOVES* Your best friends, who know you better than anybody and remind you why you're lovable and offer care and support and encouragement and wild hilarious fun. *LOVES*

I hope each and every one of you has a beautiful holiday, and I wish for you the most astoundingly fantastic new year.

Merry Christmas!

Let me tell you, it is tough to find pure joy within or feel happy when you are not feeling well! *groans* Oh, for a good night's sleep. Nevertheless, I press on.

Previously: Day 1. Day 2. Day 3. Day 4.

What made me happy today?


DAY 5

* Warm tea, wonderfully soothing for a raw, sore throat.

* A blessed five minutes when I'm not coughing and can actually rest. (Still working on extending this one, but I did have moments today.)

* My aunts doing all the snow shoveling today so I wouldn't have to go outside in the cold, snowy weather. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

* How The Grinch Stole Christmas! The children's animated holiday special from 1966 had its annual airing tonight, and it's as fun as ever. One of my favorites.

First of all, you can just chew on the text written by Dr. Seuss:

"You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse,
Mr. Grinch.
You're a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich
With arsenic sauce."

Awesome. *GRIN*

Secondly, not only do we have Cindy Lou Who, with her big blue doe eyes, and the adorable yet underappreciated Max the dog, but we've got the wicked Grinch with his marvelous Jack Benny-like slow burn expressions, every morsel deliciously narrated by the rich, dark, deep-voiced Boris Karloff. How cool is that? And let us not forget to recognize the uncredited singer Thurl "Tony the Tiger" Ravenscroft, who sings the show's classic tune, "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch."

And finally, the most sentimental part of all. I know it's potentially cheesy, but the ending lines of the program's poem still move me:

"Christmas Day is in our grasp
So long as we have hands to clasp.
Christmas Day will always be
Just as long as we have we.
Welcome Christmas
While we stand
Heart to heart
And hand in hand."

As tonight's calendar shifts to Christmas Eve, I hope you are all warm and safe and filled with love and cheer.

Day 1. Day 2.

On with the fun!


DAY 3

* Last night I watched a movie with my aunts and we sat on the floor, eating popcorn and drinking ice-cold root beer. I found myself suddenly flashing back to Saturdays when I was a little kid: after my sister, brother and I each had our baths, Mom would park us in our jammies on the floor in the middle of the living room. While she went off to take her own bath, Dad would pop up a massive bowl (the family-famous big yellow bowl) of popcorn and give us Kool-Aid (yes, I drank the Kool-Aid, heh). We would sit and watch The Love Boat (yes, really), and munch away happily. On the popcorn, not the cheese emanating from the TV program. Ha! Just kidding, Captain Stubing! Anchors away! Meet you on the Ledo deck! Ah, happy memories.

* "The 12 Days of Christmas" as sung by John Denver and the Muppets. That Miss Piggy, ever the drama queen. "Five... gooooool-dennnn... riiiiiiiings! Bah-da dum dum!" *giggles* And I adore Fozzy Bear.

* Cozy, warm, flannel sheets. Sweet god in heaven, they make the most luxurious, toasty cocoon. I wake up in the morning, all snuggled in, and never want to exit the covers.

* The sound of the wind raging outside. It's frickin' freezing out there (4 degrees below zero but feels like minus 28 with the wind chill)! Nevertheless, it's safe and warm indoors, and I love listening to the powerful wind and watching the snow flying sideways at 30 miles per hour. Cooooool. ;)

Given some personally challenging (stressful) circumstances, I've been feeling disconnected for a while now. I've agonized about it all, losing time, sleep and energy, struggling to find joy when everything inside has felt empty and dull.

I'm distracted. Scattered. Anxious. Confused. Frustrated. Disappointed in myself. Apathetic. Empty. Uncertain.

Lost.

I do not feel well, the way I am and the way I'm living right now. I must pay better attention to how I feel. I've been on auto-pilot for too long.

And I'm not doing what I said I would. I'm not standing my ground. I'm not nurturing myself, nor my creative interests, nor my physical or mental well-being. I desperately need to. I feel like I've fallen prey to that "one step forward, two steps back" mentality, only instead of two steps, I've fallen back a sorry ten paces at this point. I need to cover some ground, regain footing, whatever Olympic-sized metaphor that means getting back to the solid, smart behaviors that were propelling me forward in a radiantly positive, loving, aware, physically and emotionally strong manner.

Maybe I can't go "back" to that. Maybe there is no going back. Maybe that is unattainable, at this point. Maybe I need to find a new "setting" that incorporates all those positive points.

The big question weighing on my mind lately has been: How do I accomplish that?

I've been thinking about that quite a bit. No big solutions yet, but I came to the resolution that I must be the one to take steps, move outside my comfort zone, take positive forward action, in order to get anywhere. If I don't like the headspace I'm in right now, if I don't like the shape - strength - flexibility - health of my body right now, if I don't like the feelings I'm having ... I have to take steps to change those things. There is no genie coming to save me, no magic wand to whisk these terrible troubles away, no one to fix the mistakes I've made or erase the past or give me what I need.

I need to do it for myself.

Whatever it takes, baby step by baby step, lesson by lesson, I will take better care of myself. I will nurture myself with a positive mind and a loving heart. I will make stronger effort to expand my creative skills in singing and writing. I will find what I need and remember to enjoy it, savor it, treasure it.

Positive steps, positive steps...

But as I've long felt stuck, how should I start? What could nudge me a little bit in (one hopes) the right direction?

During this holiday season of peace and joy, I came upon bright and shining themollyedge's post about the Happiness meme. I've decided to give it a try. Thanks, Molly!


Here's the essence of it:

1. Post about something that made you happy today, even if it's a small thing.

2. Do this everyday for eight days without fail. (I'm a rebel so I'm going to do seven days, in order to coincide with Christmas Day.)

3. Tag eight of your friends to do the same. (Again, I'm not calling anyone out specifically. I know time is precious during this hectic season, so if you're swamped, no worries. On the other hand, if you've got the time and the desire to try it, go for it!)


*breathes out* It's been a while since I've even remembered to pay attention and express joy, so I'm going to start small and hope I notice more with each day's posting.



DAY 1

* Snow. When I went to bed last night, the world was quiet, peaceful and still. This morning I opened my curtains to a blizzardy wonderland. The barren trees coated thickly, the schoolyard across the street lost, all awash in white. The pale sky filled with flurries, the wind swirling them all around. It was icy and cold and beautiful. Magnificent.

* Emailing bardsmaid and lostakasha. I've owed both of them some responses lately and today I finally found the time and mental energy to write to them, and it was FUN. coffee_imp, be prepared -- you're next! *GRIN*

* Grandma's cooking. She made my favorite casserole, one my mom used to make all the time when I was little, and from the moment she started cooking it, the house filled with the most delicious smells. I sat down at the dinner table tonight and devoured that yummy feast, it was so good. Thank you, Grandma. :)

* LJ community daysofourbones. Thanks for giving me a delightful place to play and rant and discuss. Thanks for indulging me in my lengthy ramblings and never telling me to shaddup. You guys rock.

You know, this gets really fun once you get started. I'm starting to feel stirrings of much-needed happiness already. *does an inner happy dance* Yay!

See you tomorrow, people.
xoxoo