Passages

This is AMAZING.

WARNING: Can be triggery, but the overall message in the end is very positive, powerful and beautiful.

Your friends will be there when your back is to the wall,
You'll find you'll need us 'cause there's no one else to call..."

I refuse to go see the new 21 Jump Street movie.

You'd think I'd be all over it, given how dedicatedly I watched the TV show, way back when.

But it's because I watched the TV show that I object so much to the approach of this new film. I watched some commercial clips for it, and it seems nothing like the TV show. In a bad way.

Yeah, the premise is the same: young-looking cops forced to go back to high school to do undercover work. Yeah, there was an element of cheese to the original series, too.

But it seems like this new movie is making it a huge joke.

"You have the right to remain an attorney..."

The lead character doesn't even know how to recite Miranda rights to the dude he's arresting? Seriously?!

That is what bothers me the most. It seems that they're dumbing down the characters in the name of 'comedy.'

On the TV show the four undercover cops weren't inept at their jobs. They were excellent cops who couldn't cut it in the normal circuit because they looked so young. No one -- especially the badass perpetrators -- took them seriously.

But they were still good at what they do. In fact, the main character Tom Hanson was so serious about his job, that issue became one of the running jokes, that he needed to loosen up or he wouldn't be able to pull off playing a teenager during his undercover work. Just because he had a baby face didn't mean he could automatically play a kid. He had to relearn what it meant to be a teenager when so much in society has changed since he was that age, 10 years or so ago.

The TV show was still funny, sometimes very funny, but at the same time there was a layer of seriousness to it that I liked a lot.

For this new film to play off the lead characters like they're bumbling idiots -- as cops and as 'teenagers' -- that really annoys the crap out of me.

So I won't be watching this movie. I'd rather revisit my Jump Street DVDs. At least those have Johnny Depp and Steven Williams (for the 'Philes fans on my f-list, he played the mysterious and dangerous X from The X-Files, as if you didn't already know).

Let me say that again.

Johnny Depp.

Enough said.

This is a much belated post, and for that I should be flogged.

(I've been watching Merlin, so please forgive the medieval reference. Hee.)

Anyway, to explain: back in August, I responded to readthesubtext's personal LJ when she asked her friends-list members to give her some 'top five' questions. In retribution for all the torturous questions I gave her to answer, she came back and gave me the same treatment when I posted the meme to my LJ. (And I love you for it, Gemma. *GRIN*) I answered everyone else's offerings first because they seemed easier, but then I got sick of reading my own voice on the page so I decided to take a break from answering before diving head-first into Gem's marvelously lengthy list.

Now I'm back. (Everybody run!)

She gave me fourteen top five questions, so I'm going to break up my responses into three posts in order to keep them from getting enormously unwieldy (well, as much as I can, given that I am a wordy, wieldy sort). I will also put my answers behind a cut, so as not to break your f-list pages.

Okay, let's have some fun! On to the Top 5!


( Top Five Favourite Ways To Pass The Time )


( Top Five Songs That Make You Smile... )


( Top Five Scenes That Make You Laugh... )


( Top Five Books... )


( Top Five Pet Peeves )


Annnnd that's it for now!

I'll be back soon with such madness as "Top Five Films That Had A Lasting Impact On You" and "Top Five People You'd Like To Smack Upside The Head." *laughs uproariously*

Thanks again for playing along! (Especially Gemma, my hilarious taskmaster. *wink*) I hope you're finding these entertaining thus far.

:)

Annnnd I'm back. Top Five Meme. Yadda yadda.

This Top Five is in response to the fantastic krazykitkat. Cheers, beautiful! ;)


( Top Five Pairings )


( Top Five Current TV Shows )


( Top Five Moments of The West Wing )


And finally...

( Top Five Role Models )


And that's it for part 3! readthesubtext, I've saved you for last because you asked the most questions and I'm still working on them. I swear, I oughta ask you some more in retribution because the ones you asked have been really tough to narrow down to only five! I'm workin' on it, I'm workin' on it. *laughing uproariously*

Until next time... have a gorgeous day, everyone! ♥

It's been a full week since Michael Jackson died, and it's taken me this long to find the words to express my thoughts about it. It's complicated.

Like so many, I feel conflicted about the man. One way or another, I'm sure most people have feelings (and probably even jokes) about his bizarre and troubled life as well as the questions surrounding his close -- or too close -- relationships with children. I have thoughts and theories, but I can't say with absolute certainty what I believe. I have no way of knowing what he did or didn't do.

What I can say for sure is that I think he needed major therapy, for many things but especially for the damage caused by his own stunted childhood and how it affected the way he looked at himself in the mirror. I wish someone had helped him before he altered his physical appearance so radically. As someone who has struggled with negative body image issues, I look at the dramatic differences in Michael Jackson photos from over the years, and I feel great sorrow for him. I wish he'd had someone in his life who could have helped him with that.

Mostly, I wish that kids today -- wow, does that make me sound old! -- knew him as the talented man I adored when I was a kid. I imagine so many just know him for his eccentricities and weird behaviors and odd plastic surgeries. That is so sad to me.

And so many of the artists in R&B today are simply emulating his style and his moves. (Even Justin Timberlake, who would probably be the first to admit Michael influenced him). Of course, Jackson himself got a lot of his stuff from James Brown, but he was only five years old at the time and already had so much natural talent, so there's just no comparison.

He was a phenomenal dancer, gliding across the floor like liquid, bending and contorting like smooth putty. His videos were innovative for their time, so amazing and fascinating to watch (during a period when MTV actually was about music and performance instead of excessive reality TV crap), and his music was undeniably outstanding... when he was a kid with the Jackson 5, when he was starting out as a solo artist, and by the time he hit his stride with Off The Wall and Thriller. I know it's been a while since he's been in the scene, but I can't imagine the music world without him.

I still remember sitting on the floor at my grandma's house, glued to the television set, watching the Motown 25th Anniversary special with my older sister, seeing him moonwalk for the first time and hearing the crowd gasp and cheer with delight. We played that "Billie Jean" performance over and over again, just to watch him move.

My sister was such a huge fan -- she had posters of him on our bedroom closet doors (the kind where his eyes were focused outward but everywhere you went, it seemed like he was looking at you, LOL), and she would tape countless TV specials about him and we would watch them over and over again.

I was too young to know him from the J5, but watching clips of his performances of "Who's Lovin' You?" astounded me. He was only five or six years old, yet he had such depth of expression, singing that bluesy song.

I also remember when the "We Are The World" single came out, and the local news interviewed my sister as she purchased it, on either an audio cassette tape or a 45, no less!

I watched all his music videos, each outstanding in its own right, but who could forget "Thriller"? I believe it was the first of its kind to be short-film length; as a story and as a music-and-dance vid, it was such a remarkable creative project.

And it scared the crap out of me.

(Hey, I was only, like, eleven or twelve, okay? And I was a very sensitive child. Okay, maybe the right phrase would be "big chicken baby." Shaddup. You want a piece of me?)

Anyway, I remember jumping in absolute terror when his head jerked up, his eyes all demon yellow, and his voice suddenly changed from his usual soft tenor to that angry, distorted bass as he yelled "Go away!" And my sister milked that... boy oh boy, did she love to scare me with that video. She used to play the song all the time, which was fine; I liked the song. It was the transformation section of the video that scared me. And at the end of the final scene, Michael looks at the screen and smiles this wicked smile and his eyes turn yellow again, and it just made me shudder. So Lisa would come up to me at unexpected moments and she would widen her eyes like Michael did, and get in my face and laugh like Vincent Price, until I either kicked her or yelled "Mo-ooommm, tell Lisa to leave me alone!" (Heee.) I'm a grown woman, I know there are no monsters in my closet -- at least, unless you believe the show Supernatural, heh -- but I nevertheless have to steel myself if I sit down to watch that video, because so many fearful childhood feelings rise up, like I'm still 11 freaking years old.

But the biggest thing for me was when Michael and his brothers had their Victory tour. On a total lark, my dad entered a contest for concert tickets (at Burger King, I think), and he actually won. But because the tickets turned out to be for the Detroit performance, and since he wasn't familiar with that area, he refused to take us. Plus, there was the matter of there being only two tickets. My brother was too little to go, my mom didn't really care to go, but my sister and I both desperately wanted to go. If my dad used one of the tickets, that meant he would have to choose between his two daughters, and there was no way. No way were we going to get this close to seeing Michael Jackson perform live and end up stuck at home. I remember we begged and pleaded for him to come up with a solution so we could both go. I remember saying, "Why did you enter this contest if you didn't know how you would handle it if you won? Were you really going to make one of us stay home?" And he simply laughed, "I honestly didn't think I was going to win." Ultimately, I think he sold those tickets, and he relented to our pleading by purchasing new ones for the Chicago venue, and the three of us went. The seats were in one of the nosebleed sections, but it didn't matter. The girl who sat next to us -- I recall Jermaine was her favorite Jackson -- convinced us to venture down for a better view. Her dad and our dad kept an eye on us from a distance, while the three of us ran down a few levels and stood against the railings. All I remember from that night was staying up very late, dancing manically, and watching both the stage and the big screen monitors in enormous awe. It was incredibly entertaining and exciting. He was a tireless, inspiring performer. (And even more thrilling -- that night, he ended up staying at the hotel for which my uncle was reservations manager, so my uncle got my sister Michael's autograph. Yeah, just my sister, not one for me, not that I'm bitter or anything. *GRIN*)

I confess, I haven't listened to his music regularly in years, but I feel sad about the news of his death. I believe the first words out of my mouth were, "No freaking way!" The more I thought about it, the more I felt like a large portion of my childhood had just died. It just feels so strange.

Therefore, tonight, I thought I'd honor Michael Jackson the musician.

Do any of you have favorite MJ tunes?

Here are some of mine:

( 'Cause this is Thriller! Whoo! )

As Michael would say, "Go with it. Jam!"

Thanks for strolling down memory lane with me tonight.

:D

I despise New Year's Resolutions.

Let me rephrase.

If you find focus in setting resolutions, if you find them helpful, if you like making them: Excellent! Marvelous! Terrific! I sincerely salute you, I cheer you on, I support you in your endeavors with whatever you need.

However, for me personally...

*pause momentarily as I get up on my soap box*

... I despise New Year's Resolutions.

Let me explain.

I think they're negative. You start off thinking about all the things you don't like about yourself, the parts you want to change, or the things you wish you had accomplished, and you pick yourself apart and declare what you're going to do to make yourself 'better' next year. You don't stop to see any attributes. You don't appreciate yourself. Instead, you resolve to 'fix' yourself.

Then you try to stick to that rigid list of resolutions, most of which are impossible to maintain 24/7 all year 'round, and when you aren't able to, you feel horrible and berate yourself for being weak or lazy or somehow incapable. You promise you'll do better again next year, and the stupid, ugly cycle continues.

How is that helpful? What does that really accomplish? How is that a positive start for the new year?

How about we try something different?

***********

How about we take the end of the year to acknowledge what we did accomplish, whatever the task, no matter how big or small?

How about we set smart, reasonable, personal goals (not resolutions!) which can be reached in logical, attainable steps?

How about we look at ourselves in loving ways?

How about we take time to appreciate who we are, how far we've come, and what we look like, for better or for worse, as we are right now?

How about we seek out the magnificence and beauty in others and in ourselves?

How about we shower our friends, family, and loved ones with abundant kindness and care?

How about we pay attention to what people need?

How about we give ourselves that same nurturing?

How about we start the year by celebrating each other's wonderful qualities? Validation, anyone? How about it?

***********

2008 has been difficult for so many. Why start off 2009 with enormous pressure? Why not start the new year in the most positive, generous, encouraging mode? Wouldn't that be the stronger, more loving choice?

Therefore, I say we ditch the dreaded New Year's Resolutions and start something much more powerful and joy-filled! Who's with me?

Okay, let me start.

Most of you know that this year pretty much sucked for me. I've spent a lot of it feeling pretty damn low. I lost my job last year and have spent the better part of 2008 looking for a new one. In this economy, in this challenging job climate, I've felt disillusioned and disconnected. I've felt pathetic, unwanted, unappreciated and near worthless. As a result, I spent the year treating myself as if I were. I sank deeply into the muck and entrenched myself there. I did not remember to look myself in the eye every morning and appreciate how far I've come and how hard I've worked and all that I've learned. I did not pause to breathe deeply and nurture myself through the rough patches. I did not remember to treat myself or my body with care and kindness. I did not fill my mind with positive or loving thoughts.

Not a pretty picture, is it?

The point is, I'm not going to perpetuate that ugliness anymore. I'm not going to shred myself to bits by setting resolutions for what's 'wrong' with me. I think I've spent this entire year thinking that and doing that, and it does not help.

Instead...

I acknowledge that I've spent the year stuck in the mud. I will pay better attention to my feelings, and engage in my own life.

I acknowledge that I tried really hard to find a job. During my interviews, I arrived well-prepared and presented myself in the very best, smartest ways I could. The rest was out of my hands. I will not berate myself for what I cannot control.

I acknowledge that I did not take care of myself -- mind or body -- this entire year. I dismissed my own pain and buried it through ignoring and through unhealthy eating. I do not feel well because of it. I breathe deeply and look upon myself honestly yet lovingly. I will be more aware of inner negative thoughts about myself. I will pay attention to when and why those ugly thoughts occur, reeling them in and discarding them as cruel, unnecessary, and unproductive. I will remember what's good and lovely about me, without feeling like a self-centered ass.

I will include and savor music, writing, reading and other forms of creativity in my life, because I know those are joys that sustain and fill me. I will not feel guilty for enjoying them. They are not indulgences; they are spiritual and personal necessities.

I greatly appreciate the family members who gave me safe haven at a time when I really needed it. Thank you for giving me space yet giving me open arms, whenever I needed them.

To my friends -- both local and online -- I adore you and envelop you with enormous, squishy hugs and immense gratitude. Thank you for listening when I needed it. Thank you for being so kind to me, even when I was being impossible. Thank you for encouraging me to voice my opinions and be myself. Thank you for embracing me (literally or 'virtually') whenever I needed a hug. Thank you for loving me even when I couldn't see anything loveable or remarkable about myself. Thank you for reminding me when I forget that I do have talents and brains and abilities. Thank you for being so wonderful! I love you.

To myself -- I am so sorry I have neglected you all year. I'm sorry I have treated you like shit. You are worth more than you know. You are better and stronger than you think. Don't forget that.

Breathe deeply and exhale... 2008 is over. The new year begins. No matter what happens, you forge ahead. Things will get better and better. You will kick some ass, you will have great fun, you will take care of and nurture yourself, and you will have a fantastic year.

That goes for all of you!

May 2009 be a year of great joy and abundance. Much love and respect to you all.

Happy New Year, everyone!

"A home without books
is a body without soul."

~ Marcus Tullius Cicero


I was going to be all poetical-like and write an imaginative post about the rich, wonderful worlds of plot and character development, and what it all means to me, as a reader and a writer... but honestly, who's got the time when I have stacks of books to read?

Throughout the course of this year I've found myself struggling to find focus. Granted, it's difficult to maintain even a semblance of structure in life when one is without work. I know it sounds silly, but it can be scary, frustrating, and downright boring living without any sort of schedule.

It's a marvelous thing, to have purpose. It feels rewarding to be productive and driven, to find joy and energy in the completion of a task, whatever it is that captures your attention. Therefore, at a time when everything feels so aimless, I think I need to give myself more positive motivation.

Case in point: every time I gaze upon the piles of unread books cluttering my living room floor, I feel scattered and anxious, completely at a loss as to where to start. I clearly need some direction!

Inspired by willowmina's "New Book Challenge 2008" in which she declared her desire to read one new book per week this year, I have decided to make a list of my own. I don't have the time to commit to one-per-week, especially given the chaotic craziness of my current life, but I figure this list will help me to pick a book, any book, and stick to it. Even better, it will give me a visual benchmark, as I check off a book from my list and gleefully move on to the next.

This list, containing all the books from those aforementioned dusty stacks, is full of variety: mystery, suspense, fantasy/sci-fi, philosophy, psychology, memoirs, and even reference books. Plenty for me to choose from. And seeing them all in an organized fashion such as this helps me to breathe easier. It doesn't have to overwhelm me anymore; I can see what I have and what awaits my attention. All I need to do is open a book.

Without further ado, in no particular order, these are some of the books I will be reading throughout the rest of this year.


Sherry's Reading List 2008

Title	Author
Firefly ~ The Official Companion Volumes One & Two	Joss Whedon
I’m Just Here for the Food	Alton Brown
The Poet	Michael Connelly
Eats Shoots & Leaves	Lynne Truss
Art & Fear	David Bayles & Ted Orland
Letters to a Young Poet	Rainer Maria Rilke
God’s Debris	Scott Adams
Under the Black Flag: The Romance and the Reality of Life Among the Pirates	David Cordingly
The Secret Language of Eating Disorders	Peggy Claude-Pierre
The Measure of a Man	Sidney Poitier
The Elements of Style	William Strunk & E.B. White
Writing for Your Life	Deena Metzger
Dreams from My Father	Barack Obama
The Audacity of Hope	Barack Obama
The Dead Zone	Stephen King
Tigana	Guy Gavriel Ray
Loving What Is	Byron Katie
Self Esteem	Matthew McKay & Patrick Fanning
Storm Front ~ Book One of The Dresden Files	Jim Butcher
On a Pale Horse	Piers Anthony
Bearing an Hourglass	Piers Anthony
The Power of Myth	Joseph Campbell
If You Want to Write	Brenda Ueland
The Bourne Series (4 books)	Robert Ludlum
The Human Stain	Philip Roth
Wicked	Gregory Maguire
The Philosophy of The X-Files	Dean A. Kowalski, ed.
The Original Sherlock Holmes	Arthur Conan Doyle
A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose	Eckhart Tolle
The Heroine’s Journey	Maureen Murdock
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha	Tara Brach
Vegan Cupcakes Take Over The World	Isa Chandra Moskowitz

P.S. Please feel free to make recommendations. What have you been reading? What books do you treasure? Though it may take me a bit of time to get to your suggestions (as you see how many books I already have ahead of me), I'd still love to know. As always, like Fox Mulder, I’m open to the possibilities!

“It goes like this:
The fourth, the fifth,
The minor fall and the major lift…”


Today I was browsing the posts on my friends list, and came across this fascinating article as posted by emily_shore, found here. It was about the Leonard Cohen-composed song, “Hallelujah,” and all the incarnations of it as recorded by other artists.

I had no idea there were so many versions! I knew Leonard Cohen had written it, but the predominant take I'd heard was Jeff Buckley’s, as played in the background of a poignant scene during “Posse Comitatus” (final episode of season three, “The West Wing”). I happen to love that cover. The gentle, plaintive guitar … his beautifully mournful voice … how he takes his time with every single line. It’s lovely. And it fits the scene perfectly. Unoriginal choice, perhaps, and apparently overplayed, as the article points out -- though thankfully I hadn’t heard it before I saw that episode of West Wing -- but to me that doesn’t matter because it works.

Anyway, reading that article got me to thinking about all the different covers of the song, and one I heard recently that I’d forgotten about. I can’t believe I did, actually, because it’s so gorgeous. Singer k.d. lang performed it about a month ago on “Good Morning, America,” as part of a promotion for her latest album.

I admit, I don’t usually listen to her music very often. I love certain songs on “Ingénue” and “Drag,” but for the most part I need to be in a very laid-back mood to listen to her stuff. It’s either too slow or too country for me. No judgment; it’s just not usually my style.

However, I do think her talent is unquestionable. It’s rare that a singer holds me spellbound, but she’s one of them. And when I saw her perform “Hallelujah” on “Good Morning, America,” I didn’t move until she was done and the segment was over. I savored every note. Her take on the song may not have been unusual, but her singing was flawless. Passionate. Like decadent chocolate -- rich and silky smooth. I loved it.

And as a vocalist myself, I respect her immensely. She’s an amazing singer.

I can’t seem to find her performance from GMA, but I did find a live rendition from “the Max Sessions” at the Sydney Opera House. If you want to hear a beautifully heartfelt version of this song, check it out on YouTube at this link: k.d. lang singing “Hallelujah” (Sydney Opera House, 2005). It deserves to be seen and heard.

I hope you enjoy. :)