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sinkwriterI despise New Year's Resolutions.
Let me rephrase.
If you find focus in setting resolutions, if you find them helpful, if you like making them: Excellent! Marvelous! Terrific! I sincerely salute you, I cheer you on, I support you in your endeavors with whatever you need.
However, for me personally...
*pause momentarily as I get up on my soap box*
... I despise New Year's Resolutions.
Let me explain.
I think they're negative. You start off thinking about all the things you don't like about yourself, the parts you want to change, or the things you wish you had accomplished, and you pick yourself apart and declare what you're going to do to make yourself 'better' next year. You don't stop to see any attributes. You don't appreciate yourself. Instead, you resolve to 'fix' yourself.
Then you try to stick to that rigid list of resolutions, most of which are impossible to maintain 24/7 all year 'round, and when you aren't able to, you feel horrible and berate yourself for being weak or lazy or somehow incapable. You promise you'll do better again next year, and the stupid, ugly cycle continues.
How is that helpful? What does that really accomplish? How is that a positive start for the new year?
How about we try something different?
***********
How about we take the end of the year to acknowledge what we did accomplish, whatever the task, no matter how big or small?
How about we set smart, reasonable, personal goals (not resolutions!) which can be reached in logical, attainable steps?
How about we look at ourselves in loving ways?
How about we take time to appreciate who we are, how far we've come, and what we look like, for better or for worse, as we are right now?
How about we seek out the magnificence and beauty in others and in ourselves?
How about we shower our friends, family, and loved ones with abundant kindness and care?
How about we pay attention to what people need?
How about we give ourselves that same nurturing?
How about we start the year by celebrating each other's wonderful qualities? Validation, anyone? How about it?
***********
2008 has been difficult for so many. Why start off 2009 with enormous pressure? Why not start the new year in the most positive, generous, encouraging mode? Wouldn't that be the stronger, more loving choice?
Therefore, I say we ditch the dreaded New Year's Resolutions and start something much more powerful and joy-filled! Who's with me?
Okay, let me start.
Most of you know that this year pretty much sucked for me. I've spent a lot of it feeling pretty damn low. I lost my job last year and have spent the better part of 2008 looking for a new one. In this economy, in this challenging job climate, I've felt disillusioned and disconnected. I've felt pathetic, unwanted, unappreciated and near worthless. As a result, I spent the year treating myself as if I were. I sank deeply into the muck and entrenched myself there. I did not remember to look myself in the eye every morning and appreciate how far I've come and how hard I've worked and all that I've learned. I did not pause to breathe deeply and nurture myself through the rough patches. I did not remember to treat myself or my body with care and kindness. I did not fill my mind with positive or loving thoughts.
Not a pretty picture, is it?
The point is, I'm not going to perpetuate that ugliness anymore. I'm not going to shred myself to bits by setting resolutions for what's 'wrong' with me. I think I've spent this entire year thinking that and doing that, and it does not help.
Instead...
I acknowledge that I've spent the year stuck in the mud. I will pay better attention to my feelings, and engage in my own life.
I acknowledge that I tried really hard to find a job. During my interviews, I arrived well-prepared and presented myself in the very best, smartest ways I could. The rest was out of my hands. I will not berate myself for what I cannot control.
I acknowledge that I did not take care of myself -- mind or body -- this entire year. I dismissed my own pain and buried it through ignoring and through unhealthy eating. I do not feel well because of it. I breathe deeply and look upon myself honestly yet lovingly. I will be more aware of inner negative thoughts about myself. I will pay attention to when and why those ugly thoughts occur, reeling them in and discarding them as cruel, unnecessary, and unproductive. I will remember what's good and lovely about me, without feeling like a self-centered ass.
I will include and savor music, writing, reading and other forms of creativity in my life, because I know those are joys that sustain and fill me. I will not feel guilty for enjoying them. They are not indulgences; they are spiritual and personal necessities.
I greatly appreciate the family members who gave me safe haven at a time when I really needed it. Thank you for giving me space yet giving me open arms, whenever I needed them.
To my friends -- both local and online -- I adore you and envelop you with enormous, squishy hugs and immense gratitude. Thank you for listening when I needed it. Thank you for being so kind to me, even when I was being impossible. Thank you for encouraging me to voice my opinions and be myself. Thank you for embracing me (literally or 'virtually') whenever I needed a hug. Thank you for loving me even when I couldn't see anything loveable or remarkable about myself. Thank you for reminding me when I forget that I do have talents and brains and abilities. Thank you for being so wonderful! I love you.
To myself -- I am so sorry I have neglected you all year. I'm sorry I have treated you like shit. You are worth more than you know. You are better and stronger than you think. Don't forget that.
Breathe deeply and exhale... 2008 is over. The new year begins. No matter what happens, you forge ahead. Things will get better and better. You will kick some ass, you will have great fun, you will take care of and nurture yourself, and you will have a fantastic year.
That goes for all of you!
May 2009 be a year of great joy and abundance. Much love and respect to you all.
Happy New Year, everyone!
Let me rephrase.
If you find focus in setting resolutions, if you find them helpful, if you like making them: Excellent! Marvelous! Terrific! I sincerely salute you, I cheer you on, I support you in your endeavors with whatever you need.
However, for me personally...
*pause momentarily as I get up on my soap box*
... I despise New Year's Resolutions.
Let me explain.
I think they're negative. You start off thinking about all the things you don't like about yourself, the parts you want to change, or the things you wish you had accomplished, and you pick yourself apart and declare what you're going to do to make yourself 'better' next year. You don't stop to see any attributes. You don't appreciate yourself. Instead, you resolve to 'fix' yourself.
Then you try to stick to that rigid list of resolutions, most of which are impossible to maintain 24/7 all year 'round, and when you aren't able to, you feel horrible and berate yourself for being weak or lazy or somehow incapable. You promise you'll do better again next year, and the stupid, ugly cycle continues.
How is that helpful? What does that really accomplish? How is that a positive start for the new year?
How about we try something different?
***********
How about we take the end of the year to acknowledge what we did accomplish, whatever the task, no matter how big or small?
How about we set smart, reasonable, personal goals (not resolutions!) which can be reached in logical, attainable steps?
How about we look at ourselves in loving ways?
How about we take time to appreciate who we are, how far we've come, and what we look like, for better or for worse, as we are right now?
How about we seek out the magnificence and beauty in others and in ourselves?
How about we shower our friends, family, and loved ones with abundant kindness and care?
How about we pay attention to what people need?
How about we give ourselves that same nurturing?
How about we start the year by celebrating each other's wonderful qualities? Validation, anyone? How about it?
***********
2008 has been difficult for so many. Why start off 2009 with enormous pressure? Why not start the new year in the most positive, generous, encouraging mode? Wouldn't that be the stronger, more loving choice?
Therefore, I say we ditch the dreaded New Year's Resolutions and start something much more powerful and joy-filled! Who's with me?
Okay, let me start.
Most of you know that this year pretty much sucked for me. I've spent a lot of it feeling pretty damn low. I lost my job last year and have spent the better part of 2008 looking for a new one. In this economy, in this challenging job climate, I've felt disillusioned and disconnected. I've felt pathetic, unwanted, unappreciated and near worthless. As a result, I spent the year treating myself as if I were. I sank deeply into the muck and entrenched myself there. I did not remember to look myself in the eye every morning and appreciate how far I've come and how hard I've worked and all that I've learned. I did not pause to breathe deeply and nurture myself through the rough patches. I did not remember to treat myself or my body with care and kindness. I did not fill my mind with positive or loving thoughts.
Not a pretty picture, is it?
The point is, I'm not going to perpetuate that ugliness anymore. I'm not going to shred myself to bits by setting resolutions for what's 'wrong' with me. I think I've spent this entire year thinking that and doing that, and it does not help.
Instead...
I acknowledge that I've spent the year stuck in the mud. I will pay better attention to my feelings, and engage in my own life.
I acknowledge that I tried really hard to find a job. During my interviews, I arrived well-prepared and presented myself in the very best, smartest ways I could. The rest was out of my hands. I will not berate myself for what I cannot control.
I acknowledge that I did not take care of myself -- mind or body -- this entire year. I dismissed my own pain and buried it through ignoring and through unhealthy eating. I do not feel well because of it. I breathe deeply and look upon myself honestly yet lovingly. I will be more aware of inner negative thoughts about myself. I will pay attention to when and why those ugly thoughts occur, reeling them in and discarding them as cruel, unnecessary, and unproductive. I will remember what's good and lovely about me, without feeling like a self-centered ass.
I will include and savor music, writing, reading and other forms of creativity in my life, because I know those are joys that sustain and fill me. I will not feel guilty for enjoying them. They are not indulgences; they are spiritual and personal necessities.
I greatly appreciate the family members who gave me safe haven at a time when I really needed it. Thank you for giving me space yet giving me open arms, whenever I needed them.
To my friends -- both local and online -- I adore you and envelop you with enormous, squishy hugs and immense gratitude. Thank you for listening when I needed it. Thank you for being so kind to me, even when I was being impossible. Thank you for encouraging me to voice my opinions and be myself. Thank you for embracing me (literally or 'virtually') whenever I needed a hug. Thank you for loving me even when I couldn't see anything loveable or remarkable about myself. Thank you for reminding me when I forget that I do have talents and brains and abilities. Thank you for being so wonderful! I love you.
To myself -- I am so sorry I have neglected you all year. I'm sorry I have treated you like shit. You are worth more than you know. You are better and stronger than you think. Don't forget that.
Breathe deeply and exhale... 2008 is over. The new year begins. No matter what happens, you forge ahead. Things will get better and better. You will kick some ass, you will have great fun, you will take care of and nurture yourself, and you will have a fantastic year.
That goes for all of you!
May 2009 be a year of great joy and abundance. Much love and respect to you all.
Happy New Year, everyone!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-01-01 09:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-08 07:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-01 01:25 pm (UTC)p.s. I don't like New Year's resolutions, either. :)
no subject
Date: 2009-01-01 01:53 pm (UTC)HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU!
/haven't seen you around for a few/
no subject
Date: 2009-01-01 01:59 pm (UTC)I've been trying madly to finish some holiday challenge/gift exchange fics. All but one are finished, and I have an extension on that one. I've been on Twitter a lot, too. :)
no subject
Date: 2009-01-01 02:03 pm (UTC)You're like a bird, hopping from one blog to another? ;) Anyway, I mentioned you in one of my last posts. You're among 4 pals that made the last year for me.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-01 02:04 pm (UTC)Twitter's not really a blog, it's kind of halfway between an IM and a blog? I still don't really understand it, lol. :)
no subject
Date: 2009-01-08 07:16 pm (UTC)Thank you for the love. I send it right back to you, along with wishes for your new year to be magnificent as well.
Reply to your p.s. -- Right on, sister! Join me on the soapbox! LOL.
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2009-01-01 01:52 pm (UTC)I sincerely hope 2009 is better for you and you keep going though it in the wise mood of this post. (Sorry if this sounds lame, not always I find the right words immediately).
no subject
Date: 2009-01-08 07:21 pm (UTC)Sincerely, I'm happy if my post gave you something to think about or apply to your own life, and I hope it's in a good way.
Thank you for the well wishes -- I send them right back to you for your 2009! I hope the new year brings you great joys.
P.S. Your words are perfect, and I appreciate that you stopped by to comment.
P.S. again. I've been meaning to thank you for the holiday card! It was beautiful. And fun to receive! I'd forgotten I gave you my address, so it was a delight to open my mailbox and see a card that came all the way from Latvia! :)
One final comment -- your user pic makes me laugh. It's very fluffy. Heee.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-08 07:29 pm (UTC)Oh, people usually don't read long self-reflective posts (and Im not an exception, LOL), but you post seldomly, so I had to. And you said very true things, so no need to thank me. ;)
no subject
Date: 2009-01-01 01:57 pm (UTC)I bought a gorgeous cute diary, and every day I'm going to write down good things that happened. Might be an achievement, more likely something I watched or read or ate. But trying to focus on the positives, however mundane they may be.
So many good vibes and wishes to you.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-08 07:34 pm (UTC)Also, there's nothing like buying oneself a pretty diary. It's fun! Though I admit to being particular about the designs I choose, LOL. I want a journal whose cover design speaks to me in some way, or feels like 'me.' You know what I mean?
Anyway, thank you so much for stopping by and sending good vibes. I accept them gladly and send them right back to you. May your 2009 be joyous and loving.
P.S. Your user pic is beautiful, Kat.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-01 04:59 pm (UTC)*adores*
no subject
Date: 2009-01-08 07:59 pm (UTC)I say we seek it all with hyper energy and zest! *GRIN*
You're the rock star, AF. I adore you right back.
xoxo
no subject
Date: 2009-01-01 09:27 pm (UTC)I know that we've only known each other for a short amount of time and I didn't know of all your struggles during 2008 but I just wanted you to know that I'm here if you ever need to talk or whatever.
I don't know how you think you're perceived on here but I think of you as strong and intelligent (and you're a lovely person) and not many people could take the bad and see the good like you do. I know that I certainly drown in 'woe is me' sometimes.
I hope that we can continue our friendship in 2009 and get to know each other even better :)
no subject
Date: 2009-01-08 08:26 pm (UTC)But I wanted to get on here and make sure to tell you how much I appreciated your comments. I didn't always post about my struggles throughout the year, only here and there when I was really feeling it and wanted to vent, but you may not have seen most of those because I think they came from posts I made before you created
Nevertheless, I sincerely, enormously appreciate your offer to talk. I may take you up on that some day, and I hope you feel the same towards me -- if you ever want to chat, please don't hesitate to email. Not only about the insane stuff, but fun stuff, too. I'd love to hear from you. :)
And now we've got The West Wing in common (LOL), so we really do need to talk! ;D
Thank you so much for the compliments. I take them to heart.
Here's to 2009, an amazing year, and the start of good things, including friendship! :)
*hugs* Hope you're having a wonderful day.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 06:11 am (UTC)LJ is a funny thing and I sometimes forget that people had their LJs and lives before I met them! And it can be hard to keep up :) On a plus side, having these journals we manage to open ourselves up to people in a way we probably don't do much in RL and it's nice knowing that there are people out there who care what you're going through (or will just listen to you rant!).
West Wing! Yay. As soon as I finished season 7 I started watching them from the beginning again! I'm already half way through season 2. It's addictive and yes, please, if you ever want to relive TWW days then I am here!
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2009-01-01 11:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-08 08:29 pm (UTC)"Be free where you are."
That's really lovely and unbelievably cool. I'm definitely keeping it in mind as I make my way. Thanks for the wisdom.
Happy New Year. :)
P.S. Your user pic is very pretty and unusual. I like it a lot.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-02 06:29 am (UTC)(I'd say more but I'm brain-fried and just finished writing. I diddled all day in front of the computer, but managed to crank out a few paragraphs in spurts along the way. Better than nothing.)
no subject
Date: 2009-01-08 08:31 pm (UTC)I just wanted to say thank you. You're an amazing friend, and I adore you. *hugs*
Here's to an inspiring year for you as well! And may our conversations be fruitful, fascinating, and frequent!
:D
no subject
Date: 2009-01-02 04:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-08 08:32 pm (UTC)(Heeee.)
Much love right back to you. Love love love!
:D
no subject
Date: 2009-01-02 07:04 pm (UTC)You've got some good, achievable goals set out for yourself, and you've got the right attitude and the determination to do it. I believe in you.
Happy New Year, Sherry. Have a wonderful 2009.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-08 08:36 pm (UTC)Regardless, thank you so much for the hugs and encouragement. I love hearing from you, whenever you're able, and your comments fortify me like delicious whole grain bread. Heeee. Seriously, you give me strength, especially through seeing yours this past year.
Happy New Year, Lorelei. Here's to a magnificent 2009 for us all.
*hugs hugs*
no subject
Date: 2009-01-05 11:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-08 08:38 pm (UTC)Thanks for the love. (And the awesome Gwen/Owen user pic. Heee.)
*massive hugs right back*
Happy New Year, Paula.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-06 06:50 pm (UTC)I hope 2009 is starting off well for you, m'dear.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-08 08:42 pm (UTC)You do what is right for you, lovely one. That is all any of us can do, right?
2009 starting off well? Hmm. Well, I have a terrible, lingering head cold, so that's not so great. But I'm trying to think positively, so let's just say that this cold is all the yucky stuff from last year exiting my body at long last. When it's gone for good, I have no doubt 2009 will be looking up, all positive and glowing and warm and full of potential. And I wish the same for you and yours. May 2009 bring you abundant love and joy, L.
Thanks for stopping by, and (points to your user pic) for bringing the wet Josh Lyman love with you. hahaha Awesome.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-09 04:56 pm (UTC)KINKY!
Hehehe. Sorry, I had to ;) I hope you get over your cold soon! I'll send Cyber-Soup :)
no subject
Date: 2009-01-09 05:07 pm (UTC)I know! Those words came out far dirtier than I meant them. Oops.
*sheepish grin*
Thanks for the Cyber-Soup. I accept it gratefully.
How are YOU doing? Did you have a wonderful holiday?