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sinkwriterI despise New Year's Resolutions.
Let me rephrase.
If you find focus in setting resolutions, if you find them helpful, if you like making them: Excellent! Marvelous! Terrific! I sincerely salute you, I cheer you on, I support you in your endeavors with whatever you need.
However, for me personally...
*pause momentarily as I get up on my soap box*
... I despise New Year's Resolutions.
Let me explain.
I think they're negative. You start off thinking about all the things you don't like about yourself, the parts you want to change, or the things you wish you had accomplished, and you pick yourself apart and declare what you're going to do to make yourself 'better' next year. You don't stop to see any attributes. You don't appreciate yourself. Instead, you resolve to 'fix' yourself.
Then you try to stick to that rigid list of resolutions, most of which are impossible to maintain 24/7 all year 'round, and when you aren't able to, you feel horrible and berate yourself for being weak or lazy or somehow incapable. You promise you'll do better again next year, and the stupid, ugly cycle continues.
How is that helpful? What does that really accomplish? How is that a positive start for the new year?
How about we try something different?
***********
How about we take the end of the year to acknowledge what we did accomplish, whatever the task, no matter how big or small?
How about we set smart, reasonable, personal goals (not resolutions!) which can be reached in logical, attainable steps?
How about we look at ourselves in loving ways?
How about we take time to appreciate who we are, how far we've come, and what we look like, for better or for worse, as we are right now?
How about we seek out the magnificence and beauty in others and in ourselves?
How about we shower our friends, family, and loved ones with abundant kindness and care?
How about we pay attention to what people need?
How about we give ourselves that same nurturing?
How about we start the year by celebrating each other's wonderful qualities? Validation, anyone? How about it?
***********
2008 has been difficult for so many. Why start off 2009 with enormous pressure? Why not start the new year in the most positive, generous, encouraging mode? Wouldn't that be the stronger, more loving choice?
Therefore, I say we ditch the dreaded New Year's Resolutions and start something much more powerful and joy-filled! Who's with me?
Okay, let me start.
Most of you know that this year pretty much sucked for me. I've spent a lot of it feeling pretty damn low. I lost my job last year and have spent the better part of 2008 looking for a new one. In this economy, in this challenging job climate, I've felt disillusioned and disconnected. I've felt pathetic, unwanted, unappreciated and near worthless. As a result, I spent the year treating myself as if I were. I sank deeply into the muck and entrenched myself there. I did not remember to look myself in the eye every morning and appreciate how far I've come and how hard I've worked and all that I've learned. I did not pause to breathe deeply and nurture myself through the rough patches. I did not remember to treat myself or my body with care and kindness. I did not fill my mind with positive or loving thoughts.
Not a pretty picture, is it?
The point is, I'm not going to perpetuate that ugliness anymore. I'm not going to shred myself to bits by setting resolutions for what's 'wrong' with me. I think I've spent this entire year thinking that and doing that, and it does not help.
Instead...
I acknowledge that I've spent the year stuck in the mud. I will pay better attention to my feelings, and engage in my own life.
I acknowledge that I tried really hard to find a job. During my interviews, I arrived well-prepared and presented myself in the very best, smartest ways I could. The rest was out of my hands. I will not berate myself for what I cannot control.
I acknowledge that I did not take care of myself -- mind or body -- this entire year. I dismissed my own pain and buried it through ignoring and through unhealthy eating. I do not feel well because of it. I breathe deeply and look upon myself honestly yet lovingly. I will be more aware of inner negative thoughts about myself. I will pay attention to when and why those ugly thoughts occur, reeling them in and discarding them as cruel, unnecessary, and unproductive. I will remember what's good and lovely about me, without feeling like a self-centered ass.
I will include and savor music, writing, reading and other forms of creativity in my life, because I know those are joys that sustain and fill me. I will not feel guilty for enjoying them. They are not indulgences; they are spiritual and personal necessities.
I greatly appreciate the family members who gave me safe haven at a time when I really needed it. Thank you for giving me space yet giving me open arms, whenever I needed them.
To my friends -- both local and online -- I adore you and envelop you with enormous, squishy hugs and immense gratitude. Thank you for listening when I needed it. Thank you for being so kind to me, even when I was being impossible. Thank you for encouraging me to voice my opinions and be myself. Thank you for embracing me (literally or 'virtually') whenever I needed a hug. Thank you for loving me even when I couldn't see anything loveable or remarkable about myself. Thank you for reminding me when I forget that I do have talents and brains and abilities. Thank you for being so wonderful! I love you.
To myself -- I am so sorry I have neglected you all year. I'm sorry I have treated you like shit. You are worth more than you know. You are better and stronger than you think. Don't forget that.
Breathe deeply and exhale... 2008 is over. The new year begins. No matter what happens, you forge ahead. Things will get better and better. You will kick some ass, you will have great fun, you will take care of and nurture yourself, and you will have a fantastic year.
That goes for all of you!
May 2009 be a year of great joy and abundance. Much love and respect to you all.
Happy New Year, everyone!
Let me rephrase.
If you find focus in setting resolutions, if you find them helpful, if you like making them: Excellent! Marvelous! Terrific! I sincerely salute you, I cheer you on, I support you in your endeavors with whatever you need.
However, for me personally...
*pause momentarily as I get up on my soap box*
... I despise New Year's Resolutions.
Let me explain.
I think they're negative. You start off thinking about all the things you don't like about yourself, the parts you want to change, or the things you wish you had accomplished, and you pick yourself apart and declare what you're going to do to make yourself 'better' next year. You don't stop to see any attributes. You don't appreciate yourself. Instead, you resolve to 'fix' yourself.
Then you try to stick to that rigid list of resolutions, most of which are impossible to maintain 24/7 all year 'round, and when you aren't able to, you feel horrible and berate yourself for being weak or lazy or somehow incapable. You promise you'll do better again next year, and the stupid, ugly cycle continues.
How is that helpful? What does that really accomplish? How is that a positive start for the new year?
How about we try something different?
***********
How about we take the end of the year to acknowledge what we did accomplish, whatever the task, no matter how big or small?
How about we set smart, reasonable, personal goals (not resolutions!) which can be reached in logical, attainable steps?
How about we look at ourselves in loving ways?
How about we take time to appreciate who we are, how far we've come, and what we look like, for better or for worse, as we are right now?
How about we seek out the magnificence and beauty in others and in ourselves?
How about we shower our friends, family, and loved ones with abundant kindness and care?
How about we pay attention to what people need?
How about we give ourselves that same nurturing?
How about we start the year by celebrating each other's wonderful qualities? Validation, anyone? How about it?
***********
2008 has been difficult for so many. Why start off 2009 with enormous pressure? Why not start the new year in the most positive, generous, encouraging mode? Wouldn't that be the stronger, more loving choice?
Therefore, I say we ditch the dreaded New Year's Resolutions and start something much more powerful and joy-filled! Who's with me?
Okay, let me start.
Most of you know that this year pretty much sucked for me. I've spent a lot of it feeling pretty damn low. I lost my job last year and have spent the better part of 2008 looking for a new one. In this economy, in this challenging job climate, I've felt disillusioned and disconnected. I've felt pathetic, unwanted, unappreciated and near worthless. As a result, I spent the year treating myself as if I were. I sank deeply into the muck and entrenched myself there. I did not remember to look myself in the eye every morning and appreciate how far I've come and how hard I've worked and all that I've learned. I did not pause to breathe deeply and nurture myself through the rough patches. I did not remember to treat myself or my body with care and kindness. I did not fill my mind with positive or loving thoughts.
Not a pretty picture, is it?
The point is, I'm not going to perpetuate that ugliness anymore. I'm not going to shred myself to bits by setting resolutions for what's 'wrong' with me. I think I've spent this entire year thinking that and doing that, and it does not help.
Instead...
I acknowledge that I've spent the year stuck in the mud. I will pay better attention to my feelings, and engage in my own life.
I acknowledge that I tried really hard to find a job. During my interviews, I arrived well-prepared and presented myself in the very best, smartest ways I could. The rest was out of my hands. I will not berate myself for what I cannot control.
I acknowledge that I did not take care of myself -- mind or body -- this entire year. I dismissed my own pain and buried it through ignoring and through unhealthy eating. I do not feel well because of it. I breathe deeply and look upon myself honestly yet lovingly. I will be more aware of inner negative thoughts about myself. I will pay attention to when and why those ugly thoughts occur, reeling them in and discarding them as cruel, unnecessary, and unproductive. I will remember what's good and lovely about me, without feeling like a self-centered ass.
I will include and savor music, writing, reading and other forms of creativity in my life, because I know those are joys that sustain and fill me. I will not feel guilty for enjoying them. They are not indulgences; they are spiritual and personal necessities.
I greatly appreciate the family members who gave me safe haven at a time when I really needed it. Thank you for giving me space yet giving me open arms, whenever I needed them.
To my friends -- both local and online -- I adore you and envelop you with enormous, squishy hugs and immense gratitude. Thank you for listening when I needed it. Thank you for being so kind to me, even when I was being impossible. Thank you for encouraging me to voice my opinions and be myself. Thank you for embracing me (literally or 'virtually') whenever I needed a hug. Thank you for loving me even when I couldn't see anything loveable or remarkable about myself. Thank you for reminding me when I forget that I do have talents and brains and abilities. Thank you for being so wonderful! I love you.
To myself -- I am so sorry I have neglected you all year. I'm sorry I have treated you like shit. You are worth more than you know. You are better and stronger than you think. Don't forget that.
Breathe deeply and exhale... 2008 is over. The new year begins. No matter what happens, you forge ahead. Things will get better and better. You will kick some ass, you will have great fun, you will take care of and nurture yourself, and you will have a fantastic year.
That goes for all of you!
May 2009 be a year of great joy and abundance. Much love and respect to you all.
Happy New Year, everyone!
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no subject
Date: 2009-01-08 07:29 pm (UTC)Oh, people usually don't read long self-reflective posts (and Im not an exception, LOL), but you post seldomly, so I had to. And you said very true things, so no need to thank me. ;)