Open The Door, Just A Little
Jan. 3rd, 2015 10:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sinkwriterIt's amazing what comes to you when you allow yourself to open the door, even just a little crack.
Yesterday I wrote a post discussing an emotional trial of sorts, how I'd wanted to talk about something else, something personal and important to me, but I'd stopped writing that post because I got scared and I froze up and locked away what I'd wanted to discuss.
To see myself shutting down and holding back out of fear, I found that very upsetting and frustrating. But I managed one thing -- even if I couldn't talk about the original post I'd tried to write, I still reached out and talked about the fear and upset over freezing up.
In return, I got four wonderful messages that sunk in just when I needed them to.
The first three:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
candygramme, leucocrystal and wendelah1 sent words of comfort and sage advice. Thank you. You gave me the support I wanted to hear and also gave me the harder (smart, honest) wisdom I needed to hear. Thank you, thank you. I am so grateful to all three of you for that.
And then the final message, which came from an unexpected source: yesterday I started reading Amanda Palmer's book The Art of Asking (or, How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Let People Help). Today I decided to give myself a mental health day, which basically means I tried to let go of all the swirling "should do, must do" lists in my head and instead allowed myself a day of "what I want to do" which included breakfast in bed and a leisurely afternoon spent reading a large portion of Amanda's book.
And amidst all the magnificent reading (seriously, it's a good one), I came across this passage -- especially the bolded part, below -- that seemed to be waiting to hit me over the head:
---
I'm often asked: How can you trust people so much?
Because that's the only way it works.
When you accept somebody's offer for help, whether it's in the form of food, crash space, money, or love, you have to trust the help offered. You can't accept things halfway and walk through the door with your guard up.
When you openly, radically trust people, they not only take care of you, they become your allies, your family.
Sometimes people will prove themselves untrustworthy.
When that happens, the correct response is not:
Fuck! I knew I couldn't trust anybody!
The correct response is:
Some people just suck.
Moving right along.
---
Definitely needed to hear that and I'm still amazed how it came at just the right time, when I think I was open enough to hear it. Messages received, all around. Thank you all SO much. ♥
Yesterday I wrote a post discussing an emotional trial of sorts, how I'd wanted to talk about something else, something personal and important to me, but I'd stopped writing that post because I got scared and I froze up and locked away what I'd wanted to discuss.
To see myself shutting down and holding back out of fear, I found that very upsetting and frustrating. But I managed one thing -- even if I couldn't talk about the original post I'd tried to write, I still reached out and talked about the fear and upset over freezing up.
In return, I got four wonderful messages that sunk in just when I needed them to.
The first three:
candygramme, leucocrystal and wendelah1 sent words of comfort and sage advice. Thank you. You gave me the support I wanted to hear and also gave me the harder (smart, honest) wisdom I needed to hear. Thank you, thank you. I am so grateful to all three of you for that.And then the final message, which came from an unexpected source: yesterday I started reading Amanda Palmer's book The Art of Asking (or, How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Let People Help). Today I decided to give myself a mental health day, which basically means I tried to let go of all the swirling "should do, must do" lists in my head and instead allowed myself a day of "what I want to do" which included breakfast in bed and a leisurely afternoon spent reading a large portion of Amanda's book.
And amidst all the magnificent reading (seriously, it's a good one), I came across this passage -- especially the bolded part, below -- that seemed to be waiting to hit me over the head:
---
I'm often asked: How can you trust people so much?
Because that's the only way it works.
When you accept somebody's offer for help, whether it's in the form of food, crash space, money, or love, you have to trust the help offered. You can't accept things halfway and walk through the door with your guard up.
When you openly, radically trust people, they not only take care of you, they become your allies, your family.
Sometimes people will prove themselves untrustworthy.
When that happens, the correct response is not:
Fuck! I knew I couldn't trust anybody!
The correct response is:
Some people just suck.
Moving right along.
---
Definitely needed to hear that and I'm still amazed how it came at just the right time, when I think I was open enough to hear it. Messages received, all around. Thank you all SO much. ♥
