Legend of the Career Seeker
Nov. 23rd, 2009 06:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sinkwriterI say to you a la Bridget Jones's Diary:
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Some of you lovely f-listers already know my plight (laid off quite some time ago, still unemployed). Well, I've been growing more and more frustrated with this position, this lack of purpose, and how nothing seems to be changing or moving in any sort of way.
Therefore, I decided to go at it from a different angle. I called a local college and requested to meet with a career counselor. I thought maybe I might be able to gain a new perspective, get some fresh ideas, gather up a better plan of attack, because clearly what I'm doing now is not working.
Their first available appointment? December 1st.
I made this appointment over two weeks ago, so... you can see how bad it may be for everyone out there, how many people are unemployed and looking for guidance, if the counselors' schedules are this booked up. That makes me sad.
Anyway, I've got one week to go before my appointment, and they just sent me a background form. In trying to fill it out, I feel like this:
*head desk head desk head desk*
Because some of the questions are really difficult. For some, I haven't a clue how to answer. After all this time spent out of work, after all the frustration and worry and disappointment, it's become challenging to remember that I was actually good at anything. It's tough to tout myself or assign proper value.
For other questions, I can only imagine the blank stares I might get if I answer them the way I'd like to -- either because I want to answer sarcastically, or because I fear there's nothing I can say I want that they'll be able to help me attain, or because I fear they'll automatically say they don't think I have what it takes to do it (I'm too old, too fat, not smart or talented enough).
For example, one question was about what my gross monthly earnings are (or were) in my most recent job. And the next question was: What do you think you are really worth to this job? (Yes, they emphasized it with those italics.)
How the hell am I supposed to answer that question? Um, how about... I'm priceless. (End sarcasm here) I work my ass off. I learn fairly quickly. I stay late. I help others with their projects. I try to do the very best I can, even under extreme circumstances.
But is that really what they want to hear? And what's any of that worth in this economy where companies want to get employees as cheaply as they possibly can?
The most difficult questions were these:
Describe your ideal job.
What makes this ideal job so great?
And this delightful gem at the end...
Do you think it is possible for you to get a job like your ideal job?
Way to make me feel confident, you bastards.
I don't know anymore! I just feel like I'm floundering and I need to do something, anything, to get some forward momentum in my life again. I can't keep living like this. It's slowly but surely chipping away at me. Truthfully (yet with tongue firmly in cheek), I need purpose and I need joy, damn it.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Some of you lovely f-listers already know my plight (laid off quite some time ago, still unemployed). Well, I've been growing more and more frustrated with this position, this lack of purpose, and how nothing seems to be changing or moving in any sort of way.
Therefore, I decided to go at it from a different angle. I called a local college and requested to meet with a career counselor. I thought maybe I might be able to gain a new perspective, get some fresh ideas, gather up a better plan of attack, because clearly what I'm doing now is not working.
Their first available appointment? December 1st.
I made this appointment over two weeks ago, so... you can see how bad it may be for everyone out there, how many people are unemployed and looking for guidance, if the counselors' schedules are this booked up. That makes me sad.
Anyway, I've got one week to go before my appointment, and they just sent me a background form. In trying to fill it out, I feel like this:
*head desk head desk head desk*
Because some of the questions are really difficult. For some, I haven't a clue how to answer. After all this time spent out of work, after all the frustration and worry and disappointment, it's become challenging to remember that I was actually good at anything. It's tough to tout myself or assign proper value.
For other questions, I can only imagine the blank stares I might get if I answer them the way I'd like to -- either because I want to answer sarcastically, or because I fear there's nothing I can say I want that they'll be able to help me attain, or because I fear they'll automatically say they don't think I have what it takes to do it (I'm too old, too fat, not smart or talented enough).
For example, one question was about what my gross monthly earnings are (or were) in my most recent job. And the next question was: What do you think you are really worth to this job? (Yes, they emphasized it with those italics.)
How the hell am I supposed to answer that question? Um, how about... I'm priceless. (End sarcasm here) I work my ass off. I learn fairly quickly. I stay late. I help others with their projects. I try to do the very best I can, even under extreme circumstances.
But is that really what they want to hear? And what's any of that worth in this economy where companies want to get employees as cheaply as they possibly can?
The most difficult questions were these:
Describe your ideal job.
What makes this ideal job so great?
And this delightful gem at the end...
Do you think it is possible for you to get a job like your ideal job?
Way to make me feel confident, you bastards.
I don't know anymore! I just feel like I'm floundering and I need to do something, anything, to get some forward momentum in my life again. I can't keep living like this. It's slowly but surely chipping away at me. Truthfully (yet with tongue firmly in cheek), I need purpose and I need joy, damn it.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-24 01:30 am (UTC)It's tough to tout myself or assign proper value.
Honestly, I have a hard enough time with that when I'm either recently unemployed, or even currently employed! I've never been good about taking compliments, and while it's not that I have poor self-esteem or self-confidence, actually expressing such things does not come easily to me at all. It makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable when I'm put on the spot and expected to do just that. What I've never understood is why the apparent inability to toot one's own horn is necessarily viewed as a sign of a potentially poor employee. What the hell does ego or outward confidence have to do with job performance? (I mean, unless you're in the public eye, or a politician or something.)
How the hell am I supposed to answer that question?
Haha, is it me, or are all job applications kind of land-mine laden with possible trick questions? My favorite is when they want you to put down your ideal salary. I can't mind read, so I have no way of knowing if I could be putting too little (thereby implying I don't value myself enough or that they have an excuse to pay me less than I deserve, when in reality I'm just trying to be reasonable), or too much (thereby implying that I have a skewed perception of what my work is worth, giving them an excuse not to hire me, when in reality I'm just trying to make a ballpark guess of what I think they want me to say).
UGH, I am probably just psyching you out more and am not helping at all, I know. Basically I guess I'm just trying to express that you're totally not alone, that it sucks, and that for whatever reason, we're all kind of beat down before we can even get a foot in the door. Whoever had that idea or felt it might inspire competition or productivity has a few screws loose, I think.