You can call me 'Al' ;)

[sinkwriter]

I had the most random dream this morning.

Wanna hear about it?


I was in this big room that was filled with people, and they were all there to audition for some show. I hadn't planned on auditioning, I didn't have confidence in myself, but as I listened to everyone else singing, I just wanted so badly to participate. But I felt it was too late for me, so even when someone told me I should hurry up and fill out an audition form before they stopped accepting them, I didn't do it. I wanted to, but it didn't feel right. I didn't feel prepared.

I wandered around, helping out behind the scenes, and then it seemed like everyone was done. In celebration, a bunch of people started singing together (for fun), and I couldn't help revelling in their harmonizing. But even as I listened to them and savored the sound, I felt such melancholy because I hadn't gone for it and auditioned like deep down I'd wanted to.

A good friend of mine -- a pianist named Theresa who has accompanied me many times on auditions -- came up and said, "You really should audition. If you hurry, they might still let you in."

Even though I had nothing prepared and I felt absolutely terrified, I found myself agreeing to it. Before I could change my mind, she walked off, saying she was going to find me some music to perform. And though I was still nervous about messing up because I hadn't rehearsed first, I felt a sense of relief, because I knew she knew my voice and would choose something suitable. In fact, I was almost certain what song she'd pick.

I was worried that no one would want to wait for me to audition, that they would give up before Theresa got back with the music, that they would tell me it was too late. But even though they said they'd already narrowed down their choices to five, they seemed to expect that I was going to try out anyway. There was a party going on and no one minded waiting for me. It seemed a given that it was going to happen eventually.

Wacky interlude: While I was waiting, watching people dancing and goofing around, I suddenly turned in the crowd and bumped right into Al Pacino, of all people. He caught me by the arms and smiled, and we both laughed at my awkwardness, and then he clasped my hands in a dance hold and began to spin me gracefully around the dance floor. It wasn't a tango a la Scent of a Woman, but it was lovely in its own way and he guided me through it, which I appreciated. I wish I could remember the conversation we had, because I recall finding the subject matter interesting and intimate, but that part of the dream has faded away quickly. There was even a point where, upon noticing a couple of people listening in on our conversation a little too closely, Al said, "Let's continue this conversation over here..." and led me into a completely different room.

I offered him something to drink and brought it to him, and settled down in a chair next to him, leaning in to talk... but then the dream shifted.

I was still in that room, but he wasn't there anymore. I was by myself, and then a woman came in the room, holding a clipboard. The card on the clipboard had my name on it, and all my information was already filled out, ready for my audition. She just neeeded me to pay the fee, which was -- oddly enough -- 49 cents. I thought that wasn't enough so I gave her $1.50. (So bizarre.)

As I sat at the table, sorting through the change in my purse, waiting in anxiousness for my big moment, my friend Theresa entered the room, brandishing some sheet music for me. I covered my face in anticipation, afraid I wouldn't be able to remember the words and afraid of what she may have chosen (but all the while feeling quite certain of what song it was). She said something I've forgotten but in essence was something like, "I wouldn't choose something that wouldn't work for you or your voice. This is going to be good."

I uncovered my face so that I could see what song was on the sheet music...

And then I woke up.

...

Huh.

I have no idea what that is supposed to mean to me. All I can say is that it was highly vivid, and it's a slight bummer I didn't dream about Matthew Bomer or Tim DeKay because White Collar was the last thing I watched last night before I went to bed. Alas. *GRIN*

Anyway. Bizarre dream, yes? I wonder what the point is, or if there is one. The brain is a funny, funny place.

Comments

[bardsmaid.livejournal.com]

I think it means it's time for you to stand up and audition, Sherry! You really need to do something with that voice of yours, even if it's in a non-paid setting, just for the joy of doing it. And who knows where that could lead? :-)