I'm so backwards

[sinkwriter]

Had therapy today.

Went in feeling relatively alright, left feeling depressed.

Isn't it supposed to work the other way around??

Comments

[jordle.livejournal.com]

Sorry hun. Seems to be something in the water at the moment *hugs*

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

Seriously! I just finished reading your latest post, too. What is going on around here?

*heavy sigh*

*hugs you back*

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time right now, Jordan. If I were in London, we could wander the city together.

[dacian-goddess.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Sounds like you dug right in and got those floodgates open right from the go... Damn that's never fun.

The other way around will come as well, I'm certain. Sooner, I hope, rather than later. ♥

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

Thanks, you lovely one, you. *hugs back*

Sometimes I feel like the whole journey is one big up-and-down and upside-down roller coaster. I never know how I'll feel. Most weeks I leave there feeling better in some way, but this time... I don't know. He felt I was making progress, so I suppose that's something, but in the meantime I feel like crap and have all these thoughts swirling about within me that I don't know how to resolve or make sense of. I suppose that's something for next week's appointment. In the meantime, ARGH.

At any rate, thank you for the love. I appreciate it. ♥

[accordingtomel.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I'm sorry to hear that Sherry. But you should know that that's not necessarily a bad thing. I'm not a therapist (well, not that kind anyway), but the point of going to see someone is to deal with the things in your life that are upsetting you/stressful/etc., right? So unfortunately, sometimes, you might feel worse immediately following a session. But even though that sucks, it doesn't actually mean that it wasn't a success, and in fact could mean the exact opposite. If there's something bothering you that you haven't allowed yourself to talk about, then the fact that you ARE talking and you ARE feeling those things is part of the healing process.

Does that make any sense? Anyway, I hope you feel better soon, regardless. *HUGS*

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

It makes total sense, Mel. Thanks for reminding me. I just find it frustrating sometimes, I guess. I want to be getting through this stuff faster than I am, you know? Most weeks I leave there with a sense of accomplishment in some way, but this time I just felt like so many things were left unresolved and it depressed me. He feels like I'm making progress, and in some ways I am, but at a certain point I need more action and less rehashing of the same old stuff, if that makes any sense. I need some ways to work through the behavioral patterns. Talking about it ad infinitum isn't going to do it. I've thought through and agonized about some of this stuff for years -- I need tools to stop it or change the way I think once and for all. I guess I'm just feeling frustrated this week. But it will be something I need to remember to bring up to him next week, that's for sure. As others here on this thread have said, he needs to know stuff like this.

Regardless, I thank you for the sensible words and the hugs. *hugs back* ♥ You are wonderful.

[siapom.livejournal.com]

*hugs you* Sometimes it doesn't work out to happy after a visit.

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

*hugs you back* SO true.

Thanks for the comfort. :)

[pintsizeninja.livejournal.com]

Nah. Sometimes therapy's like that. That's actually a sign you may be making progress. Sometimes you'll feel great after a session, other times you'll feel even more depressed because you've been discussing something that brings up all kinds of emotions for you.

The important thing is to document it, like you have here. That way, when you go back, you can say "Hey, I felt really depressed after last week's session" and talk about why that may be. It's really useful for therapists to know that kind of stuff.

And *hugs* because I know I'm being very clinical about this, but I've had so much experience with therapy that I know how it goes. It's tough work! And you'll have some really bad days - but in the end, I think it's worth it. ♥

[lylyan.livejournal.com]

*THIS* I wish therapy were easier, but the only way out is through sometimes. And you know what they say, if you're going through hell, keep on going.

I know we talked about getting together, if I dropped the ball on that I'm so sorry. :( Let's talk scheduleness?

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

Heh. I like that statement: "if you're going through hell, keep on going." That gives me a bit of a physical path to envision when I'm feeling frustrated, to know that at least I'm walking through and heading somewhere.

*hugs you gratefully*

No apologies necessary. We've both been busy. :) I think you were going to let me know when you were free! I have class on Monday nights, but otherwise I'm usually fairly flexible. Let me know what your schedule's like and if you have a date in mind that you're able to do? I'd love to see you. xoxo

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

You are absolutely right about this. I've felt all sorts of things, as I walked out of the therapist's office. Feeling better, feeling accomplished, feeling thoughtful, feeling like "I am sooo fucked up," and of course, feeling depressed like yesterday. He said he thought I was getting to the heart of some things. So that may indeed be why I'm feeling all out of sorts and stirred up and anxious. Definitely something I need to remember to bring up next week, so thank you for that reminder. Most times I feel something and I've forgotten it by the next week so I forget to bring it up and then it just sits there inside me, unresolved. I don't want to do that. I've had enough -- I want to resolve some of this stuff once and for all! It just feels like it's taking FOREVER.

Thank you for the words of wisdom, and the hugs. :)

*hugs back*

[krazykitkat.livejournal.com]

{{love}}

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

*sends lots of love right back to you* Thanks, Kat. ♥

[pinktealeaves.livejournal.com]

I had therapy years ago. I left depressed the first few times, but it ends. You'll be better, believe me, it just takes time. ;)

::hugs::

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

*snort* The first few times, I left each time saying to myself, "I am SO fucked up." LOL.

Now I don't say that as I'm leaving. At least not every time. *chuckles* But I do wish my progress were faster. It's very frustrating when you come to a point where you know you want to do things differently with your life but you find you're getting in your own way and you don't know how to stop doing it to yourself. If that makes any sense. ;)

Thanks for the hugs and the words of experience. *hugs back*

[xlivvielockex.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I have had that happen way too many times to count.

[sinkwriter.livejournal.com]

Seriously, right? I thought I was supposed to be more of a mess going in than coming out of that office. *chuckles*

I do feel like I'm making some sort of progress, but it's so slooooooooow. I want to fix things NOW. I want to stop certain behaviors NOW. But it's not as easy as flipping a switch, you know?

Anyway... *hugs back gratefully* Thanks for the support!