Clawing my way out of hell
Mar. 26th, 2008 11:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sinkwriterI just read a Yahoo!Hotjobs article, and promptly burst into tears.
Written by a woman named Dr. Debra Davenport, the article was entitled "How To Decide If You Need A Career Change." What struck me most was this particular section --
You know you’re in the wrong career if:
It is strictly a means to put food on the table.
It’s just some job you took 10 years ago because, at the time, it was the only one you could find.
Your parents are proud, but you’re bored to tears.
Your job makes you unhappy, damages your self-esteem, compromises your values, or undermines your integrity.
You live for the weekend.
Each item on that list applied to me.
I actually don't have that job anymore because the workers from my office building were all laid off before the holidays. As you can imagine, my colleagues and I were devastated (not to mention, furious, given the amount of time and effort we'd all put in to that place). We'd been miserable, overworked and unappreciated. "Cost-cutting" measure or not, the layoff was the final slap in the face.
While I shared my coworkers' frustrations and fears, to me the layoff was also the universe's way of saying, "Sherry, this is your chance. Get the hell out of that wretched place and start fresh. Have a job that means something to you!"
But reading that article shoved me into the proverbial deer-in-headlights position. I weep for all the time I've wasted, giving all my hard work and dedication and loyalty to a job that sucked the life out of me when I could have spent all that time learning and growing and improving my skills doing something I loved. I weep because I'm so angry with myself for staying too long and not pulling my head out of my ass. I weep because I'm scared and I'm running out of time and money. I weep because that sense of urgency invokes terror... of making a hurried choice in an effort to survive and make ends meet, potentially resulting in yet another job that pulls me back to that article's horrid list.
The problem with articles like that one is how the information provided within is so generalized. What I need is a solid action plan. I need to point myself in the right direction and start taking actual, positive, strong steps to get there.
I don't mind taking a pay cut and working hard if it means finally doing what makes me happy. I'm ready to take that on. I want to make smart, sound choices this time. Take positive steps forward in a new direction, the right direction. I just don't know how yet.
I'm so f---ing exhausted.
Written by a woman named Dr. Debra Davenport, the article was entitled "How To Decide If You Need A Career Change." What struck me most was this particular section --
You know you’re in the wrong career if:
Each item on that list applied to me.
I actually don't have that job anymore because the workers from my office building were all laid off before the holidays. As you can imagine, my colleagues and I were devastated (not to mention, furious, given the amount of time and effort we'd all put in to that place). We'd been miserable, overworked and unappreciated. "Cost-cutting" measure or not, the layoff was the final slap in the face.
While I shared my coworkers' frustrations and fears, to me the layoff was also the universe's way of saying, "Sherry, this is your chance. Get the hell out of that wretched place and start fresh. Have a job that means something to you!"
But reading that article shoved me into the proverbial deer-in-headlights position. I weep for all the time I've wasted, giving all my hard work and dedication and loyalty to a job that sucked the life out of me when I could have spent all that time learning and growing and improving my skills doing something I loved. I weep because I'm so angry with myself for staying too long and not pulling my head out of my ass. I weep because I'm scared and I'm running out of time and money. I weep because that sense of urgency invokes terror... of making a hurried choice in an effort to survive and make ends meet, potentially resulting in yet another job that pulls me back to that article's horrid list.
The problem with articles like that one is how the information provided within is so generalized. What I need is a solid action plan. I need to point myself in the right direction and start taking actual, positive, strong steps to get there.
I don't mind taking a pay cut and working hard if it means finally doing what makes me happy. I'm ready to take that on. I want to make smart, sound choices this time. Take positive steps forward in a new direction, the right direction. I just don't know how yet.
I'm so f---ing exhausted.
