I'm just about to go to bed, but before I do, I thought I might go over to her website and reread one of her X-Files short stories, in honor of her. It's such a small thing, but I know she always appreciated when I read and commented on her work, so...
I just miss her, you know? I miss her friendship, her counsel, her writings, her life stories, her photographs. She was a mentor to me, and I can't seem to find the right way to express that enough. I wanted to write about her back around the anniversary of her death, but I just couldn't find the words. In fact, I've wanted to write something in her honor for the entire past year, but I just never seem to be able to say it right. The words won't come yet.
That's such a lovely idea. I might have to do that myself.
I miss her, too. I don't feel fully ready to write much, either. Even at the time, whatever it was I posted didn't seem like enough. I'll never forget that I wouldn't have made it in this city without her. The happiness I posted just yesterday wouldn't be mine without her. I hope somehow she knows that.
I ended up reading "Outpost" that night. Still wonderful. :)
Makes me want to go back through her website and read all her stories. I may do that, bit by bit.
What you wrote about her at the time was gorgeous, Z. It was so beautifully heartfelt, honest and thoughtful. I have no doubt she would have been honored to read it, and I've no doubt she knew that she helped you and that you appreciated it.
I'm so glad you are finding happiness. I know how difficult things were getting for you for so long there, worrying about money and work and your mom and the big move and everything that went with it. I think it is fantastic how you stepped forward anyway and took chances and found some joy, and I hope that you keep finding more and more joy throughout this year (and always, of course).
I should do the same. I haven't read fanfic of any show in so long now (like, years!), but that would be a great avenue to revisit it through.
I really hope she does know that. I still hate knowing that I'll never get to visit her and thank her in person.
I'm still constantly worrying about money (I think at this point I've accepted I'll always have to, heh), but work at least I enjoy, and mom is definitely doing better, so much has obviously improved. Thank you for the kind thoughts and good wishes, as always; they mean so much, especially coming from you. ♥
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2014-03-17 05:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-17 05:51 am (UTC)Thanks for coming here and saying so.
:)
I'm just about to go to bed, but before I do, I thought I might go over to her website and reread one of her X-Files short stories, in honor of her. It's such a small thing, but I know she always appreciated when I read and commented on her work, so...
I just miss her, you know? I miss her friendship, her counsel, her writings, her life stories, her photographs. She was a mentor to me, and I can't seem to find the right way to express that enough. I wanted to write about her back around the anniversary of her death, but I just couldn't find the words. In fact, I've wanted to write something in her honor for the entire past year, but I just never seem to be able to say it right. The words won't come yet.
no subject
Date: 2014-03-17 06:35 am (UTC)I miss her, too. I don't feel fully ready to write much, either. Even at the time, whatever it was I posted didn't seem like enough. I'll never forget that I wouldn't have made it in this city without her. The happiness I posted just yesterday wouldn't be mine without her. I hope somehow she knows that.
no subject
Date: 2014-03-24 06:33 am (UTC)Makes me want to go back through her website and read all her stories. I may do that, bit by bit.
What you wrote about her at the time was gorgeous, Z. It was so beautifully heartfelt, honest and thoughtful. I have no doubt she would have been honored to read it, and I've no doubt she knew that she helped you and that you appreciated it.
I'm so glad you are finding happiness. I know how difficult things were getting for you for so long there, worrying about money and work and your mom and the big move and everything that went with it. I think it is fantastic how you stepped forward anyway and took chances and found some joy, and I hope that you keep finding more and more joy throughout this year (and always, of course).
♥
no subject
Date: 2014-03-25 04:32 am (UTC)I should do the same. I haven't read fanfic of any show in so long now (like, years!), but that would be a great avenue to revisit it through.
I really hope she does know that. I still hate knowing that I'll never get to visit her and thank her in person.
I'm still constantly worrying about money (I think at this point I've accepted I'll always have to, heh), but work at least I enjoy, and mom is definitely doing better, so much has obviously improved. Thank you for the kind thoughts and good wishes, as always; they mean so much, especially coming from you. ♥
no subject
Date: 2014-03-18 02:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-24 06:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-18 08:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-24 06:26 am (UTC)